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Exu's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 24 Total Joke Score: 8,264
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 12 hours, 35 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 53 Live Jokes: 26
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 27 Duplicate Jokes: 3


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The best of Exu's 26 jokes (View All)
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has en [...]

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Joke by Exu in TV - Scooby Doo - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 5899

RIP Teletext. You were like the internet if it was bought from a pound shop. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Exu which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 977.2

So picture the scene, if you will. Katie Price has just arrived home from the jungle, having been voted to do every bushtucker trial only to be kicked out first chance we got.

She arrives home to find her house in darkness. After turning the light on, she spies a note on the table:
"Dear Katie. I've taken the kids. Love, Peter."

She notices a tapping sound from across the house, and as she heads toward it she spies something written on the back:
[...]

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Joke by Exu which requires categorising - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 523.4

I can't wait to see my mum's face on Christmas morning when she finds out I've got her a Woolworths gift voucher! I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Exu in Other - Shops - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 349.8

Apparently there's been uproar over some Tory attending a fancy dress party as Madeleine McCann and then boasting about it on Facebook.

Surely the best way to have gone as her would have been to not be there?
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Joke by Exu in Politics - Conservatives - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 67.4

So I was reading in the local paper today (The Argus) that teachers, alongside doctors and nurses, are going to be trained to spot potential terrorists in the classroom before they can become radicalised.

Not to burst anyone's bubble, but out of a group of kids it can't be that hard to pick out the foreign-looking Islamic one with a funny name, can it?
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Joke by Exu in Religion - Muslim - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 61

To all Sun-reading Sicki viewers: Would you kindly stop nicking all our jokes and sending them in as your own? Cheers.
Same to The Star.
Same to all 118 118 staff.
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Joke by Exu in TV - ??? General - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 50

The families of Welsh teenage air cadet cousins Katie-Jo Davies and Nikkita Walters have stated that their deaths in a plane collision had a "devastating impact".

Well, yeah. I mean, they crashed...
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Joke by Exu in Illness and mortality - Accidents - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 46

I've decided to release a beer called "In Moderation".

That'll teach that cunt for calling his drink "Responsibly".
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Joke by Exu which requires categorising - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 45

My wife and I have an open marriage.

I just haven't told her yet.
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Joke by Exu which requires categorising - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 41

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