On a mission to spell-check, grammatically correct and re-punctuate the planet: give me an aerosol and a stencil and I could heal the world.
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Fles has a score of 14644 at the moment.
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The best of Fles's 29 jokes (View All)
| Am I alone in thinking it ironic that the British Muslim suicide bombers made videos demanding that we get out of their lands? |    |
Joke by Fles, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged british , muslim , suicide demands - Current Score: 232 - Added: 2 months ago
| My ex-girlfriend says that I spoilt her and that I've ruined her for other men. In fairness, I did throw acid in her face. | |
Joke by Fles, in Jokes with no home > Girlfriend - Tagged acid , face , spoilt - Current Score: 151 - Added: 4 months ago
| Two goldfish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "this is an unusual form of transport for basically peaceful aquatic creatures." | |
Joke by Fles, in Jokes with no home > Goldfish - Tagged goldfish , tank - Current Score: 124 - Added: 1 month ago
| One thing that always amazes me is people who don't believe in sex before marriage. Clearly, it's sex after marriage that doesn't exist. | |
Joke by Fles, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged sex , marriage - Current Score: 120 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
| I can't decide what's sicker: a) Ian Huntley fucking two little girls; b) Gary Glitter getting let back into England; or c) giving a woman who has less managerial experience than a Wal-Mart checkout girl, who believes that the world was created in seven days and who is convinced that dinosaur bones were planted to test our faith the codes to America's nuclear arsenal. | |
Joke by Fles, in Celebrity and news events > Sarah Palin - Tagged sarah palin , armageddon - Current Score: 109 - Added: 1 month ago
| Most Americans believe they understand the meaning of irony. They think it means metallic. | |
Joke by Fles, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged americans , irony , metallic - Current Score: 104 - Added: 3 months, 26 days ago
| Thanks to techno, a whole generation thinks that bass is just a knob on a stereo whilst, for those of us who remember real musicians, bass will always be a knob on a guitar. | |
Joke by Fles, in Jokes with no home > Musicians - Tagged bass - Current Score: 101 - Added: 3 months ago
| Eric notices that the fire is getting low so he gets out of his armchair and goes to get more logs to put on it. As he opens the cellar door, he sees his son masturbating halfway down the steps. Softly, he says, "son, I know what it is that you are doing. Do not waste your seed but, rather, save it until you are a man and can put it to good use." Then he closes the door and returns to his chair. Years later, it is the son's sixteenth birthday and he goes to his father and says, "Father, you remember that day on the cellar steps? Well, I heeded your words. Now I've got eight barrels of the stuff - what do I do with it?" | |
Joke by Fles, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged masturbation , cellar , barrels - Current Score: 66 - Added: 4 months ago
| When we were kids, my sister always said she'd go down in history. Looking back, that's probably why she got such good marks. | |
Joke by Fles, in Sex and shit > School - Tagged history , school - Current Score: 60 - Added: 1 week ago
| I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives forty miles away. | |
Joke by Fles, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged sex , drive , miles - Current Score: 60 - Added: 5 months ago
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