I wanted to put something funny in my profile information, then i realised that is what the rest of the site is for.
Haynz's Statistics
Haynz has a score of 1436 at the moment.
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The best of Haynz's 33 jokes (View All)
| You might think me lucky when I tell you when I was 12 my 16 year old babysitter stripped me naked, massaged me all over and performed a lap dance for me. You won’t when you hear how he bummed me after... |    |
Joke by Haynz, in Sex and shit > Babysitter - Tagged babysitter , rape - Current Score: 234 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I think my uncle was a ventriloquist, He used to put his hand up my bum and tell me not to talk. | |
Joke by Haynz, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged ventriloquist , uncle , incest , paedophille - Current Score: 228 - Added: 2 months ago
| I read this morning that the Scout Association is to start offering its members sexual health and relationships advice. Thinking back, I believe I would have appriciated some sexual advice back in my scouting days. Something like "Don't share a tent with scout leader Gary" | |
Joke by Haynz, in Celebrity and news events > Scouts sex education - Tagged scouts , sex education , scout leader gary , his tent , one sleeping bag - Current Score: 171 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Four Muslims extremists have died in a car crash on the outskirts of Birmingham. Police describe their condition as satisfactory. | |
Joke by Haynz, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged muslim , extremists , car crash , birmingham , police racism - Current Score: 112 - Added: 2 months ago
| I've been drink driving for years now and have never been pulled over. In fact cars tend to get out of my way. I love working in my ambulance. | |
Joke by Haynz, in Jokes with no home > Drink - Tagged drink , drinking , pissed , driving , in my shiny ambulance - Current Score: 67 - Added: 1 month ago
| Sometimes I feel like my wife doesn't understand me. Just one of the downsides to mail order brides. | |
Joke by Haynz, in Jokes with no home > mail order bride - Tagged wife , doesnt understand , downside , mail order bride - Current Score: 66 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| "Sex offenders in some parts of England and Wales will be made to take compulsory lie detector tests to see if they are still a danger to the public." I'm wondering if the questions will include. "Do you have a computer?" "Does it have access to the internet?" "Do you have an account on Sickipedia?" | |
Joke by Haynz, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sex offenders , lie detector , sickipedia - Current Score: 37 - Added: 2 months ago
| In the news today apparently 50% of England's schools are not teaching mathematics well enough, Doesn't sound that bad to me, still less than a quarter. | |
Joke by Haynz, in Jokes with no home > Maths - Tagged maths , teaching , percentages - Current Score: 35 - Added: 2 months ago
| Finding funny, kind and attractive women is hard and getting one of them to sleep with you even harder. You can understand the temptation to use drugs like rohypnol; which apparently enable you to do whatever you like to any woman. I found it just made me really sleepy. | |
Joke by Haynz, in Sex and shit > Rohypnol - Tagged women , sex , rohypnol , sleepy - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month ago
| What is the difference between me and Frankie Boyle? Nobody uses my jokes to score points on Sickipedia. | |
Joke by Haynz, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , mock the week , frankie boyle , funnier than me - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 month ago
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