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JossDude's Statistics

JossDude has a score of 1232 at the moment.
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The best of JossDude's 12 jokes (View All)

What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged beatles , yoko ono , dead , beatle , yellow  - Current Score: 424 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Paul McCartney bought his wife a new artificial leg for Christmas.

It wasn't her main present, it was just a stocking filler.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged leg , christmas , stocking , paul mccartney , heather mills  - Current Score: 142 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3?

Nothing; they're both plastic, they both come in black and white, and they both get turned on by kids.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged michael jackson , ps3 , playstation , paedophilia , black , white  - Current Score: 130 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Why did Paul McCartney marry Heather Mills?

Because she went down on one knee.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged knee , leg , marry , paul mccartney , heather mills  - Current Score: 94 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Michael Jackson, the Pope and a bunch of kids are on a plane.

Suddenly the plane becomes out of control and is on course to crash.

"Here, there are two parachutes," said the Pope.

"What about the kids?" replied Jacko.

"Fuck the kids," said the Pope.

To this, Jacko said, "Have we got time?"
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged michael jackson , pope , parachutes , plane , paedophile  - Current Score: 81 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Paul McCartney has bought his wife a plane for Christmas.

But she'll still use a razor on the other leg.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged plane , christmas , leg , razor , paul mccartney , heather mills  - Current Score: 80 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

How do you know when it's bedtime in Michael Jackson's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged michael jackson , paedophile , clock , time , bed  - Current Score: 79 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

What would it take to reunite "The Beatles"?

Two bullets.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged beatles , old , bullets , shoot , reunite , reunion  - Current Score: 70 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Jacko's house was raided by the Drug Squad.

They found some Class A in his living room, Class B in his kitchen and Class 3C in his bedroom.
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged michael jackson , michael , jackson , paedophile , class , drugs  - Current Score: 40 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Paul McCartney tells his kids, "I've got some bad news and some good news."

"The bad news is your mother's dead. But the good news is it's sausages for tea tonight."
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Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged linda mccartney , paul maccartney , beatles , vegetarian  - Current Score: 36 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

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