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The best of MikeLit's 18 jokes (View All)
| A man walks up to a woman in a bar and says, "You're going to get laid tonight". A bit surprised, she asks, "Really? How do you know that? Are you psychic?" "No, I'm just stronger than you". |    |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , sex - Current Score: 455 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged condoms , woman , wallet - Current Score: 268 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I had my dreams crushed yesterday. It turns out the newspaper headline "Village still looking for paedophile" wasn't a vacancy. | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paedophile , dreams , village , vacancy - Current Score: 176 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Why does Beyonce keep saying "To the left, to the left"? Because everybody knows that blacks don't have any rights. | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged beyonce , blacks , rights - Current Score: 126 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Jesus is sitting down one day and is visioning the high rate of drug consumption on earth in later years. He thought it was a bit hypocritical of him to condemn them without first trying them himself, so he sent his apostles out to find what drugs they could. The secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned Jesus, waiting at the door, hears a knock: "Who is it?" "It's Paul" Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Paul?" "Hashish from Morocco" another knock ... "Who is it?" "It's Mark" Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Mark?" "Marijuana from Colombia" another knock ... "Who is it?" "It's Matthew" Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Matthew ?" "Cocaine from Bolivia" This continues for a while until finally theres a 12th knock on the door "Who is it?" "It's Judas" Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Judas?" "FBI MOTHERFUCKERS!" | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged judas , apostles , jesus , drugs - Current Score: 105 - Added: 8 months, 28 days ago
| A couple are lying in bed. The woman says, "I am going to make you the happiest man in the world." The man replies, "I'll miss you." | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged marriage , happy couple - Current Score: 84 - Added: 7 months, 21 days ago
| What do you call a man at an abortion clinic? Relieved. | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged abortion , baby , men , women - Current Score: 49 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| My girlfriend recently broke up with me after rejecting the idea that we have sex in a graveyard. I'm not too upset though............she'll die eventually. | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged girlfriend , necrophilia - Current Score: 48 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I met my mate Fat Frank yesterday and he looked kind of down. So I asked him "Why the long face?" "I was thrown out of an all you can eat buffet." "Jesus! Frank, you should sue them for false advertising." "No I think they were right to throw me out, I mean I did rape the waitress." | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Jokes with no home > Fat People - Tagged fat people , rape - Current Score: 43 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I think I'm going to convert to Islam Apparently its a blast! | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged muslim , bomb , explosion - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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