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The best of Mintydeadman's 5 jokes (View All)
| Interesting Human Body Facts - The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm. - A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball. [I'm from Blighty, is a softball about the same size as a rounders or cricket ball?] [bit bigger than a cricket ball] - It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. - The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples. - The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. - A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. - If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died. - Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. - There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. - Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch. - Women blink twice as much as men. - The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain. - When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate...they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate! - Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't. - Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. - If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. - The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man. *** You looked at your thumb... Didn't you? |    |
Joke by Mintydeadman, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged facts , penis - Current Score: 250 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| You know, I never understood why they done a pop concert to commemorate Diana, I mean she didn't have much to do with pop music did she? They should have done something that represented what was special in her life.... Like staging a gang-bang in a minefield! | |
Joke by Mintydeadman, in Celebrity and news events > Diana - Tagged diana , gang bang , frankie boyle - Current Score: 32 - Added: 6 months, 28 days ago
| King Arthur was in Merlin’s laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. “This is no good, Merlin!” the king exclaimed, “Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m’lady, the Queen?” “Ah, sire, just observe,” said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. “Merlin, you are a genius!” said the grateful monarch. “Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.” After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal “short arm” inspection. Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad. “Sir Galahad,” exclaimed King Arthur. “My one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!” But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless. | |
Joke by Mintydeadman, in Sex and shit > Cheating - Tagged arthur , cheating , wife , whore , dick - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 week ago
| I managed to fuck Dracula with my 12 incher... I know what you're thinking: That's a lot to take into account.. | |
Joke by Mintydeadman, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged dracula , cock , 12 inch , penis , americans are bunch of bastards - Current Score: 8 - Added: 2 months ago
| I'm not racist. Hell, I can't even run very fast... | |
Joke by Mintydeadman, in Jokes with no home > Racism - Tagged racism , black , running , nigger - Current Score: -2 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
Custurd spent 0.05ms doing 11 queries and -0.03s processing. She's 0.14% angry.
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