"If you're going to treat me like a cunt you might as well try and fuck me..."
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Mrwolf has a score of 4672 at the moment.
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The best of Mrwolf's 45 jokes (View All)
| I used to hate weddings. All the old dears would poke me and say, "you're next." They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them at funerals. |    |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged aunt , wedding , funeral , death - Current Score: 551 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to sexually assault them. Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!" Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!!!" | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Nuns - Tagged nuns , rape , sex - Current Score: 544 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Why are aspirins white? Because they work. | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , aspirin , racism , work - Current Score: 402 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Why are all the best basketball players black? Because it involves stealing, shooting and running... | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , racism , stealing , shooting , running , basketball - Current Score: 331 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Two black guys are walking down the street when they see a sign that says, "Turn White for Fifteen Quid." The two men turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a twenty pound note and the other one has a ten pound note. Since neither one of them has exactly fifteen pounds, they can't figure out how they can both get turned white... Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take twenty quid and go in there and get turned white, then when you come out you can give me your fiver change and then I will have fifteen quid and I can get turned white too!" "You bet, dawg!" says the other guy, and he goes inside. Ten minutes later, you wouldn't believe it, that black guy was now blond-haired, blue-eyed, white-skinned and even had a suit and a tie on! The first black guy says, "Holy shit man! I can't believe it, you really are white! Hurry up and give me that fiver so I can do it too!" To which the newly-white man exclaims, "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!" | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , white , racism , money - Current Score: 254 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Two friends, a white guy and a black guy, went to the doctor. Both were desperate for help. The white man kept changing colour, pink, green, yellow, white, etc. He felt like a lava lamp. The black guy just could not stop moving around, he ran around the room one way, then he ran around the other way - he was getting dizzy. "Help!" they both said. The doctor mixed up some white powder in water and told them both the drink it down. Just like magic, the white man got his colour back and the black man stood still. They could not believe it. "Wow, what did you give us?" they asked. And the doctor said, "DAZ. It keeps your whites white and stops your colours running!" | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged doctor doctor , blacks , coloureds , racism - Current Score: 196 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to write a human interest story, so he went up into the mountains were he found an old farmer sitting on his porch. He introduced himself, explained his mission, and asked, "Has anything ever happened here that made you really happy?" The farmer thought for a moment, then said, "Yeah, one time my neighbor's daughter, a fine looking gal, got lost. We formed a posse and went to look for her, and when we found her, we all took turns to screw her." "I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can't you think of anything else that happened, which made you happy?" The farmer thought for a while longer, then smiled. "Yep! One time a neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a posse to look for it, and when we found it, we all took turns to screw it." Again, the young man said "I can't print that, either! Let's try another approach. Has anything ever happened around here that made you really sad?" The old farmer dropped his head in shame. After a couple of seconds he looked up timidly at the young man and said, "This one time, I got lost..." | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged redneck , tennesee , farmer , sex , rape - Current Score: 137 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I went into a shop the other day and bought some of those new super-sensitive condoms. They're brilliant! They hang around after you fuck off and talk to the bird about "relationships"... | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged condom , sensitive , men , women - Current Score: 133 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Who's the best Jewish cook? Hitler. | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Hitler - Tagged jews , hitler , holocaust , death , anti-semitic - Current Score: 132 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her. "Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich." POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold. "And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess." POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels. "your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother. "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?" POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten. As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, "I bet you're fucking sorry you had me neutered now." | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged old lady , godmother , neuter , sex - Current Score: 124 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
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