Two black guys are walking down the street when they see a sign that says, "Turn White for Fifteen Quid." The two men turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a twenty pound note and the other one has a ten pound note. Since neither one of them has exactly fifteen pounds, they can't figure out how they can both get turned white... Finally one of them has a stroke of genius.

"You take twenty quid and go in there and get turned white, then when you c [...]

Two black guys are walking down the street when they see a sign that says, "Turn White for Fifteen Quid." The two men turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a twenty pound note and the other one has a ten pound note. Since neither one of them has exactly fifteen pounds, they can't figure out how they can both get turned white... Finally one of them has a stroke of genius.

"You take twenty quid and go in there and get turned white, then when you come out you can give me your fiver change and then I will have fifteen quid and I can get turned white too!"

"You bet, dawg!" says the other guy, and he goes inside. Ten minutes later, you wouldn't believe it, that black guy was now blond-haired, blue-eyed, white-skinned and even had a suit and a tie on!

The first black guy says, "Holy shit man! I can't believe it, you really are white! Hurry up and give me that fiver so I can do it too!"

To which the newly-white man exclaims, "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"

Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad th [...]

Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mum today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mum flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.

"Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich."

POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.

"And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess."

POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, wi [...]

As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.

"Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich."

POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.

"And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess."

POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.

"your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother. "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?"

POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.

As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered,

"I bet you're fucking sorry you had me neutered now."