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OhMyActualDays's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 6 Total Joke Score: 1,883
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 38 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 82 Live Jokes: 29
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 53 Duplicate Jokes: 22


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The best of OhMyActualDays's 29 jokes (View All)
I saw a guy in a wheelchair getting told what to do today.

I said, "Don't you just hate being pushed around?"
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Joke by OhMyActualDays in Illness and mortality - Disability - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 564.4

What is every ginger's wish?

To go grey early.
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Joke by OhMyActualDays in Racism - Ginger - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 347.2

A very common male fantasy is to have two women at the same time.

One to cook, one to clean.
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Joke by OhMyActualDays in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 223

Seen on a menu in Scotland

Vegetarian Option - Fuck off
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Joke by OhMyActualDays in Racism - Scottish - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 201.2

If the BNP are ever elected, Arsenal are well and truly fucked. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by OhMyActualDays in Politics - BNP - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 83.2

Barack Obama recently said that he wanted to follow in the footsteps of his political heroes, Lincoln, Kennedy and Luther King.

Surely this means he wants to be assassinated?
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Joke by OhMyActualDays in Celebrities - Barack Obama - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 67.2

I went to see "The Dark Knight". I think the best line was at the end when the Joker said, "I'll be back". He really is a joker. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by OhMyActualDays in Celebrities - Batman - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 57

I just read this joke by 8819:

With all these companies dropping Tiger, I am becoming more and more proud of Kelloggs for sticking by him.

----------------------------------------------

I'm not. I'm sick of the Coco Pops adverts.
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Joke submitted by OhMyActualDays, originally by 8819 which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 49.8

Little Johnny drew a fly on the class register.

The teacher noticed the fly sitting on the register, so she smacked it with a ruler. But, the fly didn't fly away, so she smacked the register once again. Again, the fly didn't fly away.

This drove the teacher mad, so she started to pound the register with the ruler and, as a result, the register quickly amounted to nothing more than a bunch of torn sheets of paper.

With the class laughing, the embarrassed tea [...]

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Joke by OhMyActualDays in Other - Little Johnny - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 46.4

Today I heard the deafening roar of laughter down my road.

I didn't think so many people watched the opening ceremony of the Paralympics.
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Joke by OhMyActualDays in Sports - Paralympics - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 44

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