My sole purpose in life is removing the "Q:" and "A:" bits from jokes.
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P45 has a score of 1763 at the moment.
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The best of P45's 32 jokes (View All)
| An old man walks into the local Cathedral and says to the rector, "I would like to join this fucking church." The astonished man replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen, damn it. I said I want to join this fucking church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The rector leaves his desk and goes into the bishop's study to inform him of the situation. The Bishop agrees that the rector does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to his office and the Bishop asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 5 million quid on the fucking lottery and I want to join this fucking church to get rid of some of this fucking money." "I see," said the Bishop, "and is this cunt giving you a hard time?" |    |
Joke by P45, in Jokes with no home > Money - Tagged money , lottery , bishop , cathedral - Current Score: 174 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Gerry and Kate McCann went to see the Pope to ask if he could help find their daughter. The Pope said he'd love to help but the Catholic Clergy was more used to hunting down small boys. | |
Joke by P45, in Celebrity and news events > A Levels - Tagged madeleine mccann , pope , catholic , paedophile , paedophilia - Current Score: 166 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| An Essex girl and John are playing a game of hide and seek. John counts to 100 while the essex girl hides. After about 30 seconds, John gets a text from the Essex girl saying: "If you find me, you can lick my pussy and fuck me up the arse and, if you can't, I'm in the shed!" | |
Joke by P45, in Religion and racism > Essex - Tagged hide , gay , cock , sucking , homosexual - Current Score: 122 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| How do you castrate a Catholic priest? Kick a choir-boy in the chin. | |
Joke by P45, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged catholic , priest , choirboy - Current Score: 96 - Added: 1 year ago
| I'm up in court next week, accused of raping a virgin twice. But I'm pleading not guilty on the grounds that she wasn't a virgin the second time I raped her. | |
Joke by P45, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , court , virgin - Current Score: 93 - Added: 2 months, 23 days ago
| Why do men prefer women with big tits and tight pussies? Because most men have big mouths and small dicks. | |
Joke by P45, in Sex and shit > Anti Men - Tagged one , the , ladies - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| What do spastics call their goldfish? Mnnnnnghghghg nummmnuuhhhh! | |
Joke by P45, in Illness and mortality > Spastics - Tagged spastic - Current Score: 60 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What's the difference between a bonus and a penis? You'll have no trouble finding a woman to blow your bonus. | |
Joke by P45, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 45 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| What's pink and fluffy and haven't moved in over a year? Madeleine McCann's slippers. | |
Joke by P45, in Celebrity and news events > A Levels - Tagged pink , fluffy , madeleine mccann - Current Score: 44 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Paddy is serving on an anti-aircraft battery in the Pacific in WW2 when he sees a Japanese plane flying towards him with the pilot waving a sword in the air screaming "Banzai! Banzai! Kamikaze!" Paddy turns to his mate and says "Stupid twat will kill himself flying like that." | |
Joke by P45, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , world war 2 , japan , kamikaze - Current Score: 39 - Added: 1 year ago
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