Favourites - New Joke - Browse: All or By Category - Random Jokes - Recent Edits - Forum - Help - Buy The Book - RSS
Welcome, Guest - would you like to go clubbing this weekend?
Would you like to log in , or create an account?
There are currently 796 guests and 152 users online.
scissors's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 0 Total Joke Score: 1,527
Country: Poland PL Total Time Active: 16 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 71 Live Jokes: 32
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 39 Duplicate Jokes: 4


Send scissors a message
Add to favourites.

The best of scissors's 32 jokes (View All)
"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Santa"

"Santa who?"

"Santander... We're repossessing your house because you haven't paid the mortgage". 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 662

What's black and makes women scream?

Gordon Brown's handwriting. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 212.2

I broke into Cheryl Cole's dressing room before she arrived at the X factor studios at the weekend and wanked myself off into a bottle of her L'Oreal shampoo.

Because she's worth it. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 156.2

No matter how hard I try or how much time and effort I put into It, during sex, I just cannot get my wife to have an orgasm.

I used to have exactly the same problem when she was alive. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 108.8

I've been following this gorgeous girl that lives down the road from me on Twitter.

Did I say twitter? I meant my bike. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 57

What's the worst thing to find on your cock after a blowjob?

Your granny's teeth. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 42.2

Simon Cowell says he's going to take Joe McElderry to Hollywood to be the new Zac Efron.

I wonder if he's going to take Stacey Soloman along to be the new Mr Ed the talking horse. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 32

I heard on the news earlier that Katie Price has had enough of the jungle life.

What's she done, sold Harvey to Madonna ? 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 31.2

My wife has got a bad drinking problem.

Her husband. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 29

Charlie Sheen has urged his fans "not to jump to any conclusion" following his arrest for domestic violence.

Thanks for clearing that one up for us Charlie lad, for a minute there I thought you might have battered your wife. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by scissors which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 27.8

BUY OUR SICKIPEDIA BOOK. Grab the UK edition from Amazon.co.uk.

Page load time: 1.66s (Startup: 0.22s, Controller: 0.03s, Template: 1.41s)
Sickipedia v3.1 - a cr3ative media ® project. © 2005 - 2010 Rob Manuel