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The best of Snan's 10 jokes (View All)
| A male teacher in a girls school asked: "Which part of the body expands to ten times its usual size when stimulated" One girl, Mary blushed furiously and said: "Sir, how dare you ask such a question. I will complain to the principal." He called for another volunteer. Lily spoke up: "Sir, the answer is the iris." "Very good, Lily," the teacher said, adding: "Mary, I have three things to say... 1) You have not done your homework. 2) You have a dirty mind. 3) One day you are going to be bitterly disappointed." |    |
Joke by Snan, in Jokes with no home > School - Tagged penis , length , school , teacher , dirty mind - Current Score: 103 - Added: 8 months, 22 days ago
| A man feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.' That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' No response. So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?' Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?' 'Frank , for the FIFTH fucking time, CHICKEN!' | |
Joke by Snan, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged old people , deaf - Current Score: 89 - Added: 8 months ago
| A Jamaican, a Pole and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar. The Jamaican takes out a massive joint, lights it up, but throws it out the window after only two draws. The Scotsman is perplexed. The Jamaican explains "we have loads of those where I come from. It's no big deal" Later on, the Pole takes out a litre bottle of Vodka, and, taking one swig, pours the whole lot out the window. "We have lots of that where I come from" he explains. At that point, the Scotsman gets up, picks up the Pole, and throws him out the window. | |
Joke by Snan, in Religion and racism > Poles / Polish - Tagged poland , polish , scottish - Current Score: 46 - Added: 10 months ago
| Chuck Norris, the Pope and Jesus are all out in the middle of a lake on a small boat. Jesus says he will walk on the water across to the small island on the middle of the lake. So Jesus steps out of the boat and manages to reach the island without getting a single drop of water on him. Chuck Norris says he wants to have a shot so he steps out of the boat. He too, makes it across to the small island. Next the Pope decides to have a shot. He steps out of the boat but immediately falls in the water. On the island, Jesus says to Chuck Norris, "Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stones?" to which Chuck replies, "What stepping stones?" | |
Joke by Snan, in Celebrity and news events > Chuck Norris - Tagged jesus , bruce lee , pope , retarded american humour - Current Score: 33 - Added: 5 months ago
| I love black people. I think everyone should own one. | |
Joke by Snan, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , own , slaves - Current Score: 29 - Added: 5 months ago
| One night a blond nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God. "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun. "There must be something you would have of me," said God. "Well, there is one thing," she said. "Just name it," said God. "It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop." "Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you." "There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun. "Name it. Please," said God. "It's the M&M's," said the blonde nun. "They're so hard to peel." | |
Joke by Snan, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged blonde , nun - Current Score: 28 - Added: 10 months ago
| What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull out the pin and throw it back. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like fuck she has a grenade in her hand. | |
Joke by Snan, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged blonde , dumb , grenade - Current Score: 23 - Added: 11 months ago
| Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Japanese fighter pilots? You only have to teach them to take off. | |
Joke by Snan, in Religion and racism > Japanese - Tagged japanese , kamikaze - Current Score: 22 - Added: 10 months ago
| A tourist is walking through the red light district in Amsterdam when he sees a fine looking lady. He approaches her and taps on the window. "How Much?", he asks. "1000 euros", the woman replies. "Wow, thats quite a lot isn't it?" "Yes. Well it is double-glazed." | |
Joke by Snan, in Sex and shit > Red Light District - Tagged amsterdam , red , light , district - Current Score: 15 - Added: 7 months, 30 days ago
| Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their Air Force | |
Joke by Snan, in Religion and racism > Iraq - Tagged iraq , air , force - Current Score: 12 - Added: 10 months ago
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