One morning my hot 15 year-old sister came into my room crying. Dad had finally told her that her real parents were unknown - she was adopted.

I was a good big brother. I put a comforting arm around her, and told her that it doesn't matter, that we'll always love her, and that I thought she was the most wonderful sister in the world. Then, I dunno how it happened, but we kissed, and soon things got really passionate - clothes came off, and... we had the most amazing sex.

[...]

One morning my hot 15 year-old sister came into my room crying. Dad had finally told her that her real parents were unknown - she was adopted.

I was a good big brother. I put a comforting arm around her, and told her that it doesn't matter, that we'll always love her, and that I thought she was the most wonderful sister in the world. Then, I dunno how it happened, but we kissed, and soon things got really passionate - clothes came off, and... we had the most amazing sex.

Sadly, it didn't last. After I came, I found out the condom had split. She started crying again, and I got the shakes. We went downstairs, hand in hand, to break the news to dad that his adopted daughter was probably pregnant.

I have never been less amused by the words "April Fools".

I said "Darling, let's try something new in the bedroom... I'll get some chocolate spread, some whipped cream, and a few strawberries.

"Then I'll paint my cock with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my arse, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I shit them out.

"Then [...]

I said "Darling, let's try something new in the bedroom... I'll get some chocolate spread, some whipped cream, and a few strawberries.

"Then I'll paint my cock with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my arse, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I shit them out.

"Then it'll be time to pop their cherries. I'll start with Jess cos she's already 9, she'll be a bit more developed. While I'm fucking her childish vagina, Emily can lick up the blood and get her own tiny cunt ready for a good stretching.

"Then I'll finish off by banging them in the arse a couple of times before squirting my creamy load over their faces. Shall we give it a go?"

My wife looked stunned. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" she said.

I said "Fuck me, you're into some weird shit."