Vastarien has a score of 101 at the moment.
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The best of Vastarien's 4 jokes (View All)
| There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her home. When they got there, he whips out his manhood and asks "What's this?" She replies "A cock." He thinks to himself that she is not pure enough. A couple of weeks later he meets another gal and soon takes her home. Again, he pulls out his manhood and asks the question. She replies "A cock". He is angry because she seemed more pure than the first but, oh well. A couple of weeks later he meets a gal who seems real pure. She won't go home with him for a long time but eventually he gets her to his house. He whips it out and asks, "What is this?" She giggles and says "A pee-pee." He thinks to himself that he has finally found his woman. They get married but after several months every time she sees his member she giggles and says, "That's your pee-pee." He finally breaks down and says "Look this is not a pee-pee, it is a cock." She laughs and says "No it's not, a cock is ten inches long and black." |    |
Joke by Vastarien, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged girl next door , virgin , cock - Current Score: 50 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Bob and his best friend Jeff went on a fishing trip. Jeff brought along his gorgeous new wife, and the three had a great time, even though the cabin was so small they all had to share a bed. Bob got woken up in the middle of the night by Jeff's wife, who wanted to fool around. Bob was willing, but he just couldn't betray Jeff, who was sleeping next to Bob. The wife said "Don't worry Bob, Jeff's a sound sleeper. He won't wake up no matter what we do." To prove it, she reached over and pulled a hair from Jeff's asshole. He never moved. Bob and the wife got to it seven times all through the night, pulling a hair from Jeff's ass each time to make sure he was still sleeping. As Bob reached for another hair, Jeff spoke up. "Bob, I really don't care if you fuck my wife, but stop using my ass as a scoreboard!" | |
Joke by Vastarien, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged fishing , new wife , cheating - Current Score: 34 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Little Johnny loved construction. He watched every show about building and blasting, and had his own little foreman outfit that he wore every day, hardhat and all. One day, a house was going up across the street, and he begged to go watch the men at work. His mum packed his lunch in a little tin pail and told him to be back by dark and not get in the way of the builders. He was back for supper, all smiles. His mum asked "What did you learn today dear?" Johnny proudly says "Well, first you gotta put up your goddamn door. Then the motherfucker don't fit. So, now you gotta take the cocksucker down, shave a cunt hair off each side, and put the fucker back up." Horrified, his mother sends him to his room. Later, Johnny's dad comes in."Son, I heard you said something that really upset your mum. If you tell me what it was, I won't be mad." So, Johnny starts in again. "Well, first you gotta put up your goddamn door. Then the motherfucker don't fit. So, now you gotta take the cocksucker down, shave a cunt hair off each side, and put the fucker back up." His dad says, "Son, go outside and get me a switch." Johnny looks his dad in the eye and says "Fuck you, that's the electrician's job!" | |
Joke by Vastarien, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged little johnny , builders , swearing - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Billy's third grade class is given an assignment to find out what a penis is. Billy forgets about it until the last minute, and rushes into the bathroom where his dad is shaving for work. He asks, "Dad, what's a penis? I gotta find out for school." Dad proudly drops his pants and says, "Son, that right there is a perfect penis." Billy rushes off to school, where his friends have also forgotten their homework. Billy takes them all into the bathroom, drops his pants and says "There it is, guys. If it was just a bit smaller, it'd be perfect." | |
Joke by Vastarien, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged penis , third grade - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
Custurd spent 5.89ms doing 10 queries and -0.61s processing. She's 11.31% angry.
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