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The best of analcake's 4 jokes (View All)
| A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." Presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado. |    |
Joke by analcake, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged tornado , idiot , american , christians , god-botherers , viz - Current Score: 277 - Added: 4 months, 29 days ago
| A university student delivers a pizza to an old man's house. "I suppose you want a tip?" says the old man. "That would be great," says the student, "but the other guy who does deliveries told me not to expect too much - he said if I got 50p, I'd be lucky." The old man looks hurt. "Well, to prove him wrong, here's five quid. What are you studying?" "Applied psychology," replies the student. | |
Joke by analCake, in Jokes with no home > School - Tagged psychology , applied , pizza , old man - Current Score: 55 - Added: 6 months, 15 days ago
| An Australian backpacker walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager from the barmaid. She recognises his accent and they begin chatting. Over the course of the night they get to know each other quite well. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place for sex. Although she is attracted to him, she declines. He then offers her two hundred quid. The waitress is also travelling the world and is short of funds, so she agrees. The next night he returns and orders another lager. Later in the evening, he offers her another two hundred quid for her services. She is only too happy to agree. This goes on for five nights. On the sixth night, the traveller comes in, orders a lager and sits in the corner. Hoping to earn more cash in another night of passion, the waitress pulls up a seat, and asks him where's he's from. "Melbourne," the traveller replies. "So am I! What suburb in Melbourne?" she asks. "Glen Iris," he replies. "That's amazing," she says, "so am I! What street?" "Cameo Street, he replies. "This is unbelievable," she says. "What number?" "Number 20." "You are not going to believe this but I'm from number 22 and my parents still live there!" "I know," the man replies. "Your father gave me a thousand pounds to give to you." | |
Joke by analCake, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged backpacker , australian , money , sex - Current Score: 35 - Added: 6 months, 15 days ago
| Whenever I buy a DVD I have to sit through a trailer telling me not to watch pirate movies. Yet Johnny Depp stars in one and the posters all say 'Must See'. Make your minds up Hollywood. | |
Joke by analcake, in Celebrity and news events > Johnny Depp - Tagged pirates , pirate , dvd , hollywood , of , the , carribean - Current Score: 14 - Added: 4 months, 29 days ago
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