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bawbag's Statistics

User Level: Admin
Contribution Points: 2131 Total Joke Score: 64,295
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 619 hours, 33 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 922 Live Jokes: 487
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 435 Duplicate Jokes: 108


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The best of bawbag's 487 jokes (View All)
My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.
Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"
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Joke by bawbag in Crime - Incest - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 2929.8

I was shagging the wife last night and, after cumming for the second time, I rolled over.

My wife was not impressed and said, "how about finishing me off now?"

So I smothered her with my pillow.
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Joke by bawbag in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 2082.2

I was in Tesco and saw a guy off Crimewatch who is wanted for several rapes. I tackled him to the ground and punched him unconscious. The police arrived and arrested me.

Apparently they use actors on the show.
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Joke by bawbag in Crime - Rape - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1694.8

I walked in on my daughter masturbating this morning.

She's still too young to understand what I was doing, though.
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Joke by bawbag in Other - Family - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 1527.4

I hear stories about a new kind of toilet paper being sold.

There's a drawing of the prophet Mohammed on it and you get to colour him in!
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Joke by bawbag in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1348.2

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.
Took her out with one fucking punch.
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Joke by bawbag which requires categorising - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 1138.2

I have just been interviewing people for a post at my work.
The first guy was fresh from university and very eager.
The second guy had a degree and five years experience.
The woman had two degrees and twelve years experience.
I am all for equal opportunities, so of course I employed the woman.
I'll only have to pay her half as much.
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Joke by bawbag in Racism - Sexism - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1049

Stephen Hawking may be a genius, but he is not setting much of an example to kids by just sitting at his computer all day. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by bawbag in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 886.2

My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler.

I'd do anything to win her back.
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Joke by bawbag in Other - Gambling - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 810.2

My son came home from school looking all excited.
"I got a B on my reading test," he told me.
"That's a fucking D," I replied.
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Joke by bawbag in Other - School - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 790

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