I try to mainly post original jokes but, much like Wayne Rooney, I like to do an old one occasionally.
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bleary has a score of 12289 at the moment.
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The best of bleary's 97 jokes (View All)
| Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet? |    |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged nonce , paedophile , house of bleary - Current Score: 1169 - Added: 3 months ago
| I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Anal - Tagged english teacher , colon , grammar , anal sex , bumming - Current Score: 847 - Added: 3 months ago
| I got kicked out of school a few years back. The headmaster caught me behind the bike shed, fingering one of the girls from my class. When I was leaving, he said it was a pity, because he reckoned I was the best Maths teacher the school had ever seen. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Teacher Teacher - Tagged teacher , finger , bike shed , house of bleary , paedophilia - Current Score: 764 - Added: 2 months ago
| THE NEW SICKIPEDIA CONSTITUTION Article 1 You MUST be funny. If you're not funny then just fuck off. Article 2 This a a SICK jokes website. Save the lightbulb jokes for when you go to visit your nan. Reading the jokes on this site should make you fearful the Interpol are going to come to your house and confiscate your hard-drive. Remember the three R's of sick humour: racism, rape and 'rse'oles. Article 3 (i) Jokes should be fairly short - roughly the size of an Chinese guy's knob. No huge long stories please. Everyone here has A.D.D. from wanking too much (that's how you get it, you know). (ii) No big list jokes please. Your 50 Ways To Have Fun in An Elevator is my 50 Reasons To Go Round Your House And Rape Your Cat. (iii) If you know 20 good dead baby jokes, don't post them all in one go. And definitely don't post them as as individual jokes one after another so nobody else can get into the new jokes list, you selfish prick. Try posting one per day. Article 4 (i) Don't just copy and paste things from other joke sites (ii) Especially American joke sites, cause they're fucking rubbish. (iii) If you post a Chuck Norris fact as a joke, then YOU ARE A CUNT. Article 5 (i) This body acknowledges that Americans are fat, whiny, boring shitbags with the sense of humour of a five-year old that's been dropped on it's head. We hope that all the Fat Americans eat all the Skinny Americans, and then the Fat Americans die of food poisoning. (ii) That said, YOU DO NOT NEED TO KEEP POSTING THINGS ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE AMERICANS! We get it. (iii) Funny how the people who write anti-American rants (a) only started doing it when they saw how successful mickle's rant was and (b) never have any popular jokes of their own. Article 6 If you're going to do a joke about how foreigners can't speak English, then check your own spelling and grammar first. If not, we're all going to laugh at you and call you a fucking knob-end. Article 7 If you post a message as a joke and say "PLEASE VOTE THIS UP SO EVERYONE CAN READ IT", you're a bigger cunt than people who post Chuck Norris facts. Article 8 (i) Adding "Duplicate" to the end of a duplicated joke shows you are a retarded fuck-nut. (ii) Don't add things like "lol!" to the end of jokes you like, you big fucking gay. Article 9 While you were busy reading this, I was fucking your mum. Ha! EDIT : Whilst u was writing this i fucked your gran! | |
Joke by bleary, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , constitution - Current Score: 681 - Added: 2 months ago
| I'm not one of those guys who disappears right after sex. I like to spend some time with them afterwards, have a bit of a cuddle, stroke their hair and make it absolutely clear what I'll do to them if they tell their parents. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged threatening little children , house of bleary - Current Score: 446 - Added: 2 months ago
| One of the big differences between American English and British English is that Americans tend to drop the letter "U" from certain words, like colour and honour. What a bnch of stpid fcking cnts. | |
Joke by bleary, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged americans , american english , u , cnts , enigma code , bandwagon-jumping , but at least this is actually an attempt at a joke , house of bleary - Current Score: 445 - Added: 3 months ago
| Is the new Batman movie cursed? Consider the evidence: 1. Heath Ledger died from an overdose earlier this year. 2. Christian Bale was arrested a few weeks ago. 3. Morgan Freeman was in a serious car crash on Sunday. 4. I'm planning to kidnap Maggie Gyllenhaal next weekend and keep her in my cellar as a sex slave for the rest of her natural life. Spooky, eh? | |
Joke by bleary, in Celebrity and news events > Batman - Tagged heath ledger , christian bale , morgan freeman , maggie gyllenhaal , the dark knight , batman , curse - Current Score: 413 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| You know what I reckon would bring an end to knife crime in London overnight? Guns. | |
Joke by bleary, in Celebrity and news events > Knife Crime - Tagged knife , stabbings , house of bleary , pirates - Current Score: 337 - Added: 1 month ago
| Called Childline yesterday. Unfortunately, they don't do deliveries. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Child Abuse - Tagged childline , delivery , dialapaedo , paedophile - Current Score: 265 - Added: 2 months ago
| A friend of mine tried to talk to me into going to a party tonight. "Come on," he said, "you might meet the woman of your dreams." I said no. I'm not sure I want to be seen in public with that filthy slut. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Wet Dream - Tagged slut , wet dream , party , woman of my dreams , michael mee - Current Score: 222 - Added: 2 months ago
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