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caliban's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 0 Total Joke Score: 26,095
Country:   Total Time Active: 0 seconds
Total Jokes Submitted: 68 Live Jokes: 61
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 7 Duplicate Jokes: 1


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The best of caliban's 61 jokes (View All)
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "You won't believe what happened! I was taking a shortcut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to the rails. I untied her, and we had sex over and over again. All the positions; everything!"

His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blowjob?"

"No, I couldn't find her head."
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Joke by caliban in Sex and shit - Necrophilia - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 4639

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by caliban in Racism - Ginger - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 2733.8

I was walking along a high cliff one day and saw a little boy, all alone and he was crying. I asked him,

"Son, what are you doing up here all alone?" He replied, with tears in his eyes,

"My mum's down there at the bottom. She fell!"

"That's terrible!" I said. "And your dad?"

"He's down there right next to her. He tried to save her and he fell too!"

"That's awful!" I said [...]

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Joke by caliban in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1535.4

I was asked to run a marathon and I said no chance.
Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids and I thought 'Fuck it. I could win that!'
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Joke submitted by caliban, originally by Jimmy Carr in Illness and mortality - Disability - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1292

A 14 year old boy comes home from primary school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "You look happy, did anything special happen at school today?"

"Yes mum - I had sex with my English teacher!" he replied. The mother is stunned.

"Get up them stairs now and wait until your father gets home!" The dad comes home and hears the news; he's as pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his so [...]

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Joke by caliban in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1163.2

Where do you send Jewish kids with A.D.D.?

To concentration camps.
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Joke by caliban in Illness and mortality - ADHD - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 870

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynaecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.

"What was that?" The others asked her.

"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked.

"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued [...]

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Joke by caliban which requires categorising - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 798

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
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Joke by caliban in Celebrities - Princess Diana - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 728.2

A guy rings his boss at work and says, "Look, I'm really sorry, but I can`t come to work today. I'm sick."

"Sick!" screams his boss. "Sick! This is the tenth time this month. Just exactly how sick are you?"

"Well," he replies, "I'm in bed with my nine-year-old daughter."
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Joke by caliban in Crime - Incest - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 706.4

What's black, has eight legs and makes women scream?

Gang rape.
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Joke by caliban in Crime - Rape - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 692

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