catshit has a score of 234 at the moment.
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The best of catshit's 14 jokes (View All)
| Ulrika Johnsson was rushed to hospital last night after sitting on her mobile phone. Wasn't a big problem though - not the first time she's had an Ericsson up her ringpiece! |    |
Joke by catshit, in Celebrity and news events > Ulrika Jonsson - Tagged sven goran ericsson , mobile phone , ringpiect , arsehole - Current Score: 44 - Added: 2 months ago
| An anagram of "The Metropolitan Police Force" - "I'm fellatio, the erect porno cop". | |
Joke by catshit, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged police , coppers , old bill , anagram - Current Score: 32 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
| What do Pakis do when the sun goes down? Log into Sickipedia and vote down all the jokes about them. | |
Joke by catshit, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged pakis , sundown , vote down - Current Score: 28 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| 36DD breasts covered in warm Belgian chocolate Erect pierced nipples with gold nipple rings topped with whipped cream Freshly shaven pussy framed in patent leather open crotch panties Moist clit covered in strawberry jam This is not just any porn....... This is M&S porn. | |
Joke by catshit, in Sex and shit > Commercials - Tagged mamps , porn , clit , pussy , nipples - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago
| Breast feeding is healthy and natural and women should be allowed to do it in public. Masturbation is also healthy and natural - so why have I just been kicked out of BurgerKing for having a wank? | |
Joke by catshit, in Sex and shit > Breast Feeding - Tagged breast feeding , wanking , burgerking - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
| A man decides to have a facelift for his birthday and spends five grand at an exclusive clinic. On his way home he decides to stop off for some cigarettes. Before leaving the tobacconist he asks the salesman "How old do you think I am?". "Oh, about 35" replies the salesman. "No, I'm 47 " he replies, feeling really happy. Further down the road he decides to stop at McDonalds, and on finishing his meal he asks the assistant "How old do you think I am?". "29?" she suggests. "No, I'm 47", replies the man, feeling even happier. Later, at the bus stop, he poses the same question to an extremely old lady. "Young man" she replies, "I am 95 years of age but if I can put my hand down your trousers and play with your cock and balls for ten minutes, I'll tell you your exact age". There was no one around so the man thought "What the fuck" and let the old lady put her hand down his pants. After ten minutes of kneading his balls and caressing his knob the old lady says "OK, you're 47". The man says "Thats amazing, how the fuck did you know?". "I was behind you in McDonalds" replied the old lady. | |
Joke by catshit, in Sex and shit > Balls - Tagged cock , balls , old lady , facelift , wanking - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 months ago
| A woman was feeling a bit frustrated with her sex life and decided to spice it up a bit. She bought a pair of crotchless knickers and an ultra-mini skirt, and put them on just before her husband came in from work. As he walked in, she sat down on the sofa, leaned back, hitched up the skirt and spread her legs wide open. "Do you fancy some of this?" she asked. "Do I fuck" he replied, "Have you seen what it's done to your knickers?". | |
Joke by catshit, in Sex and shit > Cunt - Tagged wife , husband , knickers , cunt , twat , pissflaps - Current Score: 12 - Added: 6 days ago
| A young girl takes her new boyfriend home for coffee after a boozy night out. They settle down on the sofa and things start to get a bit steamy, and before long he has her tits out and a couple of his fingers up her twat whilst she strokes his prick and balls. Just as they are ready to start shagging he announces, "I need to go to the toilet first." "Well you can't go upstairs - the toilet's next to my parents room and you might wake them up," says the girl. "I'll tell you what: use the kitchen sink." The lad disappears into the kitchen, and after three or four minutes pokes his head round the door and asks, "Have you got any paper or shall I use one of these towels?" | |
Joke by catshit, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged toilet , bog , shit , shithouse , shag - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 month, 7 days ago
| I'll never understand women. They go to "Beauty Parlours", have boiling hot wax poured all over their upper thighs and pubic regions, and have their hairs ripped out to the roots. They enjoy this, and pay good money for it. Why all the fuss when you try to slip them one up the arse? | |
Joke by catshit, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged arse , waxing , rear entry , back scuttle - Current Score: 9 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| What do you call a Paki with no sisters and a dead mother? A virgin. | |
Joke by catshit, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , sister , mother , incest - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
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