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The best of cc1957's 15 jokes (View All)
| A guy goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with my sex life." The doctor asks, "can you describe the problem?" "Well... I wake up in the morning and shag my wife, then I have a shower and a shave and I shag her again. I have my breakfast and shag her again on the table, then I get a blowjob from her before I leave for work" "Okay..." the doctor replies. "I haven't finished yet. I get to work and shag my secretary in my coffee break. At lunch-time I go to see my mistress and shag her a couple of times. I get back to work and shag my secretary again in the afternoon tea-break." "Right." "Excuse me, I still haven't finished. After work, I see my mistress again on the way home and shag her. Then I get home and shag the wife. I have my dinner and shag her again, then we go to bed and shag a couple of times before going to sleep." "Well, I don't see what the problem is..." The guy says, "it hurts when I wank." |    |
Joke by cc1957, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , wank , hurt - Current Score: 180 - Added: 1 year ago
| A guy walks into a pub and says 'Give me six double whiskies'. The barman lines them up and the guy picks up each one and downs them. Then he says 'I really shouldn't do that with what I've got.' The barman says 'Why, what have you got?' The guy replies '50p'. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged 50p , guy , pub , six - Current Score: 99 - Added: 1 year ago
| I was reading a men's problem page the other day and saw an article on premature ejaculation. I thought, that's a women's problem, surely? | |
Joke by cc1957, in Sex and shit > Ejaculation - Tagged premature ejaculation , prematureejaculation - Current Score: 84 - Added: 10 months, 20 days ago
| A guy goes to the doctor and says 'I've got a cricket ball stuck up my arse'. The doctor says 'How's that?', and the guy replies 'Don't you fucking start'. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Jokes with no home > Sports - Tagged cricket , doctor - Current Score: 59 - Added: 11 months ago
| A gay guy walks into a bar and sees a mate of his. He says to him really loudly 'How's your arse today?' The second guy is embarassed and says 'Shut up!' So the first guy says 'So's mine, it must be the cold weather'. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay - Current Score: 55 - Added: 11 months ago
| Teacher is going around the woodwork class to see how the kids are doing. He comes up to little Johnny and says 'What are you making Johnny?'. Johnny says 'A portable, sir'. 'A portable what?' says the teacher. Johnny answers 'Give me a fucking chance, I've only made the handle'. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Jokes with no home > School - Tagged little johnny , school - Current Score: 44 - Added: 9 months, 6 days ago
| Posh and Becks get picked up at the airport and on their way home the driver says to them "Been anywhere nice then?". David says "Ummm...what's the name of that station in London?". "Paddington?" the driver offers. "No, that's not it" "King's Cross?" "No" "Waterloo?" "No" "Liverpool Street?" "No. It's got a big bus station too". "Victoria?" "Yes, that's it. Oi, Victoria, where have we just been?" | |
Joke by cc1957, in Celebrity and news events > Posh And Becks - Tagged beckham - Current Score: 34 - Added: 1 year ago
| I saw in the Guardian that they're planning on giving Margaret Thatcher a state funeral when she dies. I thought, why wait till then? | |
Joke by cc1957, in Celebrity and news events > Margaret Thatcher - Tagged thatcher , funeral - Current Score: 31 - Added: 4 months, 20 days ago
| A bloke goes into the chemist's and says 'I'd like a chamberpot please'. The assistant says 'Sorry, we don't sell them. Have you tried Boots?'. The bloke says 'I have but the piss runs out of the laceholes'. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Jokes with no home > Piss - Tagged boots , piss - Current Score: 30 - Added: 2 months, 15 days ago
| A friend of mine is a chess player. We went out for dinner the other day, the table had a check tablecloth on it. I asked him to pass the salt and it took him two hours. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Jokes with no home > chess - Tagged chess , dinner - Current Score: 18 - Added: 10 months, 25 days ago
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