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The best of cleveland's 94 jokes (View All)
| Barack Obama won the election on a platform of "change." I say, "what change?" because what's so new about a black guy coming in to clean up a mess a white man created? |    |
Joke by Cleveland, in Celebrity and news events > Barack Obama - Tagged barack obama , election , bush , president - Current Score: 327 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| A police officer is parked outside a bar one night when he sees a drunk man stumble out the door. The man staggers through the parking lot and falls down. He tries his keys in five different cars before getting in and driving off. The cop immediately pulls him over and makes the man take a breathalyser test. The man blows a 0.0. "This thing must be broken," the cop says. The man responds, "Nope, tonight I'm the designated decoy!" | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged drunk , bar , police , drinking - Current Score: 214 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Now that the NBA players are in China for the Olympics, do you think they will get a chance to meet the six year-olds that make their shoes? | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged child labor , olympics , china , nba - Current Score: 209 - Added: 3 months, 29 days ago
| What's the definition of a nigger? An African-American who has just left the room | |
Joke by cleveland, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , racist , nigger - Current Score: 186 - Added: 7 months, 8 days ago
| What are the top 25 rejected children’s book titles? 1. Daddy drinks because you cry 2. Garfield gets feline leukemia 3. What is that dog doing to that other dog? 4. How to dress sexy for grownups 5. Why can’t Mr. fork and Mrs. Electrical outlet be friends? 6. You were a mistake 7. Strangers Have the Best Candy 8. The Little Sissy Who Snitched 9. Some Kittens Can Fly! 10. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her 11. The Children's Guide to Hitchhiking 12. Dad's New Wife John 13. POP! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games 14. 101 Fun games to Play in the Road 15. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear 16. The Little Golden Book of Electrical Wiring 17. Creatures Under The Bed: A Bedtime Story 18. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet 19. Chemistry from Under the Kitchen Sink 20. That’s it; I’m Putting You Up for Adoption 21. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator 22. Your Nightmares Are Real 23. Where Would You Like to be Buried? 24. Timmy’s The Wrong Colour To Be Your Friend 25. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Illness and mortality > Children - Tagged sick , kids , gross - Current Score: 184 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| What's this? R RR RRR RRRR A pirate eye chart. | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Jokes with no home > pirates - Tagged pirates , eye - Current Score: 153 - Added: 2 months, 17 days ago
| How do you get a retarded kid to kill himself? Give him a knife and ask him who's special. | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged retard , knife , suicide - Current Score: 148 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| When my Muslim jokes get buried, do they go to heaven and get 72 virgin jokes? | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Religion and racism > indian - Tagged virgin , muslim , sickipedia - Current Score: 141 - Added: 2 months, 11 days ago
| A Jewish American is watching a tv documentary in a New York bar. He's getting more and more drunk and has his head propped in his hands as he watches the TV telling all about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour. The narrator says "On 7th December 1941, the Imperial Japanese Navy launched an unprovoked air attack on Pearl Harbour in Hawaii." The Jew tuts into his beer. "A third of the US Fleet was destroyed in the single worst attack of the 2nd World War." The Jew gets redder and tuts even more loudly. "25,000 US men and women were killed that day, some of them burned horrifically!" The Jew gets so mad he wants to vent his anger. He turns round and sees a little oriental guy on a bar stool at the end of the bar. He runs over and punches the Oriental in the face and knocks him off his stool. The Oriental says, "what d'fuck was dat for, you fucking iriot?!!" "That was for Pearl Harbour!" The American Jew feels proud of himself and the Oriental says, "you stoopid iriot, that was the fuckin Japanese, I'm Taiwanese!" To which the Jew says, "Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese, you're all slanty eyed yellow bastards!!" He sits back on his stool and starts drinking his beer. The Taiwanese sits back on his stool and you can see his little brain working overtime. The next moment, the Taiwanese goes flying across the bar and plants a flying kick on the side of the American Jew's head, sending him crashing into the wall, "thud!" The Jew says, "what the fuck was that for you slanty eyed cunt?" "Dat was for de Titanic!" "What, the fuck are you on about? That was an iceberg!!" "Goldberg, Weinberg, Spielberg, Ice berg, you're all thieving big nosed Jew cunts!!!" | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged jew , racist , chinese - Current Score: 138 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A man is sitting at home feeling horny as hell. He digs around the house for loose change and comes up with $10, and heads for the local brothel. He approaches the madam and says, "I only have $10 but I am so horny! Please, please I just want to fuck something!" The madam says, "OK, If you're that desperate I'll let you fuck a goat." The madam instructs him to go to the first door on the right. Once there, he sees a goat tied to the corner and a large mirror on the wall. He proceeds to go behind the animal and fucks away like crazy. He finishes and leaves. A couple of days later, he feels horny again, digs around and finds $5. He goes back to the brothel and tells the madam he only has $5 but he's really horny and wants to fuck the goat again. She tells him he fucked the goat so hard he killed it. Instead, she could let him watch two women mud wrestle for $5. The guy agrees and she instructs him to go to the second door on the right. He walks into a dark room and sees a few guys sitting in front of a large window watching two women mud wrestle. He sits down and says to one of the other guys, "This is great." The other guy says, "Yeah, but you should have been here a couple of days ago when they had some guy fucking a goat!" | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , beastiality , embarass , sex - Current Score: 101 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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