dandan has a score of 2339 at the moment.
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The best of dandan's 33 jokes (View All)
| Don't bother sending your children's toys to Africa. Can you imagine how depressing it must be for those kids to receive a Tamagotchi that's going to outlive them? |    |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Children In Need - Tagged children , toy , africa , frankie boyle - Current Score: 714 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| What do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheelbarrow? Run over. | |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Motorways - Tagged motorway , wheelbarrow , what the fuck are you doing crossing the motorway with a wheelbarrow you cunt - Current Score: 621 - Added: 2 months, 12 days ago
| A student visits their professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do ...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice softens. "Anything?!" "Absolutely anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... revise?" | |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Exams - Tagged revision , exam , professor , sexual favour , the life of david gale - Current Score: 312 - Added: 2 months, 23 days ago
| I can't believe how much the price of food has gone up in the past couple of years. Now anybody having their 5-a-day is just showing off. | |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Inflation - Tagged inflation , food , 5aday , fruit , frankie boyle - Current Score: 109 - Added: 2 months, 23 days ago
| Places I want to go before I die: 1) The hospital | |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Hospital - Tagged places , die , hospital - Current Score: 89 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
| Anyone else wonder if the Queen ever props her quilt cover up to her neck whilst in bed and says "Look Philip, I'm a stamp!"? | |
Joke by dandan, in Celebrity and news events > Queen - Tagged queen , philip , quilt , stamp mock the week , russell howard - Current Score: 81 - Added: 2 months, 10 days ago
| The NHS has announced that all sperm banks in Manchester and West London will close for the next 7 days as all the wankers will be in Moscow. | |
Joke by dandan, in Celebrity and news events > Champions League Final - Tagged nhs , sperm , bank , manchester , west london , wankers , moscow , champions league , final - Current Score: 53 - Added: 6 months, 18 days ago
| Bubblewrap. Once you pop, you're the most annoying fucker in the room. | |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Not Sick - Tagged bubblewrap , fun but annoying - Current Score: 48 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
| Do you think it's rude for deaf people to talk with food in their hands? | |
Joke by dandan, in Illness and mortality > Deaf And Dumb - Tagged rude , deaf , food , sign language - Current Score: 36 - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago
| Barack Obama has just announced the death of his grandmother a day before the US Presidential election. Should've auditioned for X-Factor. | |
Joke by dandan, in Celebrity and news events > Barack Obama - Tagged grandmother , xfactor , barack obama - Current Score: 28 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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