I'm not rapist.
danshand's Statistics
danshand has a score of 1106 at the moment.
The score reflects joke quality and moderation rewards.
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The best of danshand's 22 jokes (View All)
| I thought to myself, why's that car getting bigger? Then it hit me. |    |
Joke by danshand, in Illness and mortality > Accident - Tagged car , run over - Current Score: 175 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| The other night my girlfriend asked me to try and explain to her how much I loved her. After obviously spending too much time on Sickipedia that day, I declared that I loved her 'like a paedophile loves children'. She hasn't shaved her fanny since. | |
Joke by danshand, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged fanny , paedophile , girlfriend , sickipedia - Current Score: 157 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| When the police knocked on my door and arrested me for piracy last week I was relieved to find out it was because of the movies I was copying, and not the small shanty village I raped and pillaged last summer. | |
Joke by danshand, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , pirate , piracy , village - Current Score: 154 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
| Its coming to my favourite time of the year, Halloween. The only time I can dress up and play with kids without arousing suspicion. | |
Joke by danshand, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged halloween , children , paedophile - Current Score: 137 - Added: 2 months ago
| Up until recently I was dating this girl with a wooden leg, but I broke it off. | |
Joke by danshand, in Illness and mortality > Spastics - Tagged wooden leg , broke , dating - Current Score: 117 - Added: 2 months ago
| Josef Fritzl's daughter is like your typical blonde... absolutely stunning, but not a lot upstairs. | |
Joke by danshand, in Celebrity and news events > Josef Fritzl - Tagged cellar , josef fritzl - Current Score: 111 - Added: 1 week ago
| I can't help thinking, if Ron Weasley can really do magic, why's he still a ginger? | |
Joke by danshand, in Jokes with no home > Gingers - Tagged harry potter , ron weasley , ginger , ginner , ginger ninger , red head , ranger - Current Score: 95 - Added: 2 months, 11 days ago
| After getting all of my jokes voted down on sickipedia, I finally realised I wasn't funny and that I would just have to accept the fact I am a woman. | |
Joke by danshand, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged woman , not funny , jokes - Current Score: 32 - Added: 2 months, 18 days ago
| I don't see what all the fuss is about with these black holes - let's be honest, if their name is anything to go by they won't work anyway. | |
Joke by danshand, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , hole , nigger - Current Score: 22 - Added: 2 months, 24 days ago
| I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me. | |
Joke by danshand, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged boomerang , memory - Current Score: 19 - Added: 2 months ago
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