It aint big and it aint clever! ;o)
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The best of darylsws's 6 jokes (View All)
| A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year." They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him." They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow." The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should make a full recovery. |    |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged bull , husband , wife , sex , cow - Current Score: 96 - Added: 11 months ago
| A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. A company spokesperson declares this a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts without listening to them. | |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Tits - Tagged music , breasts , women - Current Score: 74 - Added: 11 months ago
| A man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian." The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but to get into Hollywood you have to change your name." "I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name," replied the man. The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you have to change your name or I will not be able to represent you." "So be it!" replied the man, storming out. "I guess we will not do business together!" Five years later the agent opened an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope was a letter and a cheque for $50,000. The agent was awe-struck. Who would send him $50,000? He read the letter... "Dear sir, five years ago I came into your office wanting to become an actor. You told me I needed to change my name. I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed cheque is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice. Yours Sincerely, Dick van Dyke. | |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Lesbian - Tagged dick , dyke , lesbian , actor , penis - Current Score: 59 - Added: 11 months ago
| For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife."Honey,"she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce!!" | |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged postcard , italian , pregnant , spaghetti , metballs , sauce , husband , wife - Current Score: 26 - Added: 11 months ago
| When Saddam Hussein was found guilty he was originally sentenced to be shot. His last request was to name his own firing squad: He chose Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher from 12 yards | |
Joke by darylsws, in Religion and racism > Iraq - Tagged saddam , hussein , shot , lampard , gerrard , carragher - Current Score: 8 - Added: 11 months ago
| A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced "A typical Texas baby boy weighing twenty pounds." Congratulations shower all around, and many exclamations of 'wow!' are heard. Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, 'Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth, aren't you? How much does the baby weigh now?' The proud father answers, 'fifteen pounds.' The bartender is puzzled. 'Why? What happened? He already weighed twenty pounds at birth.' The Texas father takes a slow sip from his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans over to the bartender and proudly announces, 'Had him circumcised!' | |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged baby , texas , bartender , beer - Current Score: 6 - Added: 11 months ago
Server: Custurd in 1.13s using 11 queries. She's 4.06% angry.
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