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The best of eatmeat's 24 jokes (View All)
| Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one. |    |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged women , disabled , parking - Current Score: 1624 - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago
| Apparently Jade's cancer is eating away at her brain now. Poor thing...it must be fucking starving | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged cancer , jade - Current Score: 769 - Added: 3 months, 27 days ago
| I entered the Young Musician of the Year last week. He didn't half scream. | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged rape , kid , peadophile , musician - Current Score: 344 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
| Two guys in a health club, one is putting on lace knickers. "Since when do you wear womens pants?" "Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!" | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged cheating , knickers - Current Score: 257 - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago
| I phoned the Islamic Samaritans today. When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane. | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged suicide , bomber , samaritan - Current Score: 242 - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago
| As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger frantically jumps up, removes all her clothing and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane who is man enough?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this." | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Young Girls - Tagged plane , sex , die - Current Score: 202 - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago
| I went for an Indian last night. The waiter came over and said "Curry OK?" I said "Go on then, one song then you can fuck off". | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged indian , curry , karaoke - Current Score: 174 - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago
| Bruce is driving over Harbor Bridge one day listening to some music in his car and just having a really great day. Suddenly he notices his girlfriend Sheila standing on the side of the bridge. Bruce slams on the brakes, bolts out of the car and shouts, "Sheila! What the hell are you doing, babe?" Sheila turns around with tears welling up in her eyes. "Bruce, honey! You got me pregnant. I don't want to be a burden, so I'm just gonna kill myself!" Bruce gets a lump in his throat and climbs back into his car. "Sheila, not only are you a great fuck, but you're a good sport about it too!" | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Young Girls - Tagged suicide , pregnant - Current Score: 170 - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago
| A Paki goes into a chemist for some aspirin. When he leaves the Chemist realises he has sold him arsenic by mistake and goes running into the street after him. "I've sold you the wrong tablets" he tells him "What's the difference?" asks the Paki "Just call it a quid" says the Chemist | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , arsenic - Current Score: 79 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Pat Regan, the anti gun campaigner, has been killed by her grandson in a frenzied knife attack. I wonder if she appreciated the irony. | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Celebrity and news events > Pat Regan - Tagged gun , pat , knife crime - Current Score: 78 - Added: 5 months, 25 days ago
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