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| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 54 | Total Joke Score: | 7,562 |
| Country: |
United kingdom 
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Total Time Active: | 19 hours, 39 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 42 | Live Jokes: | 31 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 11 | Duplicate Jokes: | 4 |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 180.05 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 243.94 |
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The best of eatmeat's 31 jokes (View All)
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Two guys in a health club, one is putting on lace knickers. "Since when do you wear womens pants?" "Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!" |
 
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I entered the Young Musician of the Year last week. He didn't half scream. |
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Joke by eatmeat in Crime - Paedophilia (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago
- Current Score: 2,177.6
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Apparently Jade's cancer is eating away at her brain now. Poor thing...it must be fucking starving |
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I phoned the Islamic Samaritans today. When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane. |
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As an air-plane is about to crash, a female passenger frantically jumps up, removes all her clothing and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane who is man enough?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this." |
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Look guys...porn! ( . Y . ) best wishes, S. Hawking |
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I went for an Indian last night. The waiter came over and said, "Curry okay?" I replied, "Go on then, one song then you can fuck off." |
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Joke submitted by eatmeat, originally by Tim Vine in Racism - Pakistani - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago
- Current Score: 207.8
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Bruce is driving over Harbor Bridge one day listening to some music in his car and just having a really great day. Suddenly he notices his girlfriend Sheila standing on the side of the bridge.
Bruce slams on the brakes, bolts out of the car and shouts, "Sheila! What the hell are you doing, babe?" Sheila turns around with tears welling up in her eyes. "Bruce, honey! You got me pregnant. I don't want to be a burden, so I'm just gonna kill myself!" Bruce g [...] |
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A Paki goes into a chemist for some aspirin. When he leaves the Chemist realises he has sold him arsenic by mistake and goes running into the street after him. "I've sold you the wrong tablets" he tells him "What's the difference?" asks the Paki "Just call it a quid" says the Chemist |
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Pat Regan, the anti gun campaigner, has been killed by her grandson in a frenzied knife attack. I wonder if she appreciated the irony. |
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