| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 0 | Total Joke Score: | 14,089 |
| Country: |
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Total Time Active: | 16 hours, 55 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 187 | Live Jokes: | 124 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 63 | Duplicate Jokes: | 7 |
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The best of erniehill's 124 jokes (View All)
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Well, it's that day again when the Irish miss work and spend all day drinking. Tuesday. |
 
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Next time you are chatting to someone who is dyslexic, tell them that "dyslexic" is an anagram of "thick cunt". It's funny watching them trying to figure out, in vain, if it's true or not. |
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Joke by erniehill in Illness and mortality - Dyslexia - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
- Current Score: 913.4
| Imagine being 85. A comfortable seat in very pleasant surroundings where you can sit surrounded by people your own age mumbling nonsense all day. Imagine being attended by nice smiling people and genuinly thinking you are still important, whilst living very nicely at the expense of the taxpayer. Well, that's not for everyone of course. Some of us aren't fortunate enough to get a seat in the House of Lords. |
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Joke by erniehill in Other - Old People - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
- Current Score: 671.8
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Just a quick note to the driver of an 09 silver BMW, reg F2 ACE: You might remember pinching my parking spot in Tesco car park and grinning, whilst your son made "wanker" signs at me through the passenger window. Well, if you're wondering where your wing mirrors are, try the canal. |
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Why is rave like rap? They are both more enjoyable with an e. |
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Isn't America wonderful? You can get married and have children aged 16, you can join the army and kill people aged 18... But you need to be 21 in order to rent porn or buy beer, because you aren't considered "emotionally mature" until that age. |
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A mate of mine does photography, and he was hoping to take some nude pictures on the London subway system. However, he got in trouble when he started taking pictures of naked ladies with pubic hair. Turns out you are only allowed to shoot Brazilians on the Underground. |
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I went to see "Madagascar 2" with my young nephew. Afterwards he asked me, "Uncle, is this film true? Is Africa really full of all these dumb creatures that all look identical and just laze around all day?" "Yes it is, Billy," I replied. "We call them niggers." |
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| I can't fucking stand Mark Lawrenson. If I want someone to constantly interrupt my enjoyment of the football with pointless, witless, ill-informed shite then I'll get a girlfriend. |
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Joke by erniehill in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago
- Current Score: 402.4
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I'm sick of all these jokes bashing the Americans- In fact, I think this whole site should be more Americanized. So here we go: A dude waddles into a video store, and says "Can I get a DVD on suicide..." |
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