Everything I post (well, nearly everything) is a joke I have made up myself. I'm not keen on cut and pasting stuff, because its usually shite you have already heard.
erniehill's Statistics
erniehill has a score of 2005 at the moment.
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The best of erniehill's 34 jokes (View All)
| I can't fucking stand Mark Lawrenson. If I want someone to constantly interrupt my enjoyment of the football with pointless, witless, ill-informed shite then I'll get a girlfriend. |    |
Joke by erniehill, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged football , girlfriend , liverpool , euro 2008 , germany , spain , german , spanish - Current Score: 223 - Added: 2 months ago
| Schoolgirls are claiming that, during the summer holidays, they are bombarded with a large number of sexually explicit (and somewhat desperate) messages on sites such as Facebook. Don't worry girls, it will all calm down in September - when the teachers go back to work. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged teacher , facebook , summer holiday , paedo , school - Current Score: 171 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| A mate of mine was explaining that the reason Muslim women wear veils is so that no man will find her sexually tempting. But surely that could be achieved much more easily by her NOT wearing a veil. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged muslim , women , veil , paki , sexually tempting - Current Score: 143 - Added: 2 months ago
| Apparantly Allah is having real problems at the moment. With so many suicide bombers, he is really struggling to find the 72 virgins that have been promised to each and every one of them. It's getting so bad, he might even have to consider female virgins as a substitue. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged muslim , terrorist , sickipedia , allah , virgins , virgin , sex , female , gay , gay muslim - Current Score: 128 - Added: 2 months ago
| My wife suggested that to spice up our sex life we have a threesome. She looked at me with a sly look in her eye and said if we wanted to, she could call her best friend, or alternatively, if we felt really kinky, we could call her step-sister. Well, lets just say that it was the best night of my life for many years! I called them both, left the three of them to get on with it, and fucked off down the pub to watch the football. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Sex and shit > Threesomes - Tagged threesome , incest , football , pub , sex , wife , sister , best friend , kinky sex - Current Score: 126 - Added: 2 months ago
| Next time you are chatting to someone who is dyslexic, tell them that "dyslexic" is an anagram of "thick cunt". It's funny watching them trying to figure out, in vain, if it's true or not. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Illness and mortality > Dyslexia - Tagged dyslexic , dyslexia , thick cunt , anagram - Current Score: 126 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I seem to be seeing a lot of people out walking Staffordshire Bull Terriers at the moment, especially round Council Estates and the like. I'll be honest, I really don't like them. They are ugly, muscular, vicious, unintelligent and seem liable to attack you for no reason. Their dogs, on the other hand, I quite like. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Jokes with no home > Dog - Tagged scum , dog , staffordshire bull terrier - Current Score: 102 - Added: 1 day ago
| Kerry Katona was saying in the paper that she can't understand how a talented, attractive and popular celebrity could go bankrupt. Well, I re-read the article a couple of times, and I still have no idea who she was talking about. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Celebrity and news events > Kerry Katona - Tagged kerry katona , talented , bankrupt , money - Current Score: 95 - Added: 3 days ago
| I find it shocking that 55% of Europeans are now saying that they avoid coming to Britain through concerns over knife crime, and that each reported knife attack puts off thousands of potential migrants to the UK. Furthermore fear of knife-brandishing homeowners and "no-go areas" is forcing more and more door to door salesmen to quit and find other jobs. And there I was thinking knife crime was a BAD thing. Silly me! | |
Joke by erniehill, in Celebrity and news events > Knife Crime - Tagged euro , europe , migrant , migrants , knife , murder , polish , crime , salesmen - Current Score: 88 - Added: 1 month ago
| What do you call a Black American Muslim Woman? Pretty much anything- its still bound to get voted up. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , voting , nigger , black , woman , muslim , irony , joke , jokes - Current Score: 82 - Added: 2 months ago
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