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The best of eviltorry's 20 jokes (View All)
| Met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and flirted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had a mother and daughter combo. I said no. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night. I went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mum, you still awake?" |    |
Joke by eviltorry, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged threesome , old bag , women , sex , drunk - Current Score: 110 - Added: 9 months, 6 days ago
| Gary Glitter bought 100 cases of Glenfiddich Scotch Whisky today, because the salesmen told him it's a cheeky little 12 year old that goes down well. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged gary glitter , scotch , paedo - Current Score: 106 - Added: 3 months ago
| Scientists have found that many women develop "DYSON" disease after a few years of marriage... They make a continuous whining noise and don't suck any more. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged wife , blowjob , moaning - Current Score: 68 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I'm off to old trafford right now!!. I heard on the radio earlier that they are having a tribute to the Busty Babes..... | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Celebrity and news events > Man Utd - Tagged tits , posting by a tit - Current Score: 37 - Added: 9 months, 27 days ago
| Today being the Anniversary of the Glasgow Airport terror attack, you can ensure it's safe for you and your family to fly by following this simple advice: Just as the plane's about to take off, stand up and sing the Afghanistan national anthem. If anyone joins in, GET OFF THE PLANE. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Religion and racism > Muslims - Tagged anniversary , terrorists , airport , planes - Current Score: 27 - Added: 5 months, 4 days ago
| Good to see Coleen McLoughlin got her fairytale wedding after all, she arrived in an onion Carriage and married Shrek. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Celebrity and news events > Wayne Rooney - Tagged shrek , rooney - Current Score: 26 - Added: 5 months, 21 days ago
| I was heading out of Tesco today with a joint of beef stuffed up my jacket. The security guard ran over and shouted, "what are you doing with that?" I said, "Spuds, Peas and Gravy you nosey bastard, Now Fuck Off!" | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Jokes with no home > Shops - Tagged tesco , spuds , shoplifting , duplicatei will find it - Current Score: 25 - Added: 1 week ago
| Went into the florist today and asked for a very big bunch of flowers. The florist asked "how big exactly?" I replied "caught in bed with the wife's sister size" | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged wife - Current Score: 25 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Rangers have asked Manchester police to play an end of season friendly, asked why, manager Walter Smith said, "they're the only folk we have actually attacked in Europe this season." | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Jokes with no home > Rangers - Tagged rangers - Current Score: 21 - Added: 6 months, 18 days ago
| I was talking to a bird in the pub last night and she asked if I played golf. I replied, "I've not played since my wife died when we were out on the course together." "Oh my god! That must have been awful," she said. I replied, "Yes, it was. I had to play my shot, drag her, play my shot, drag her...' | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged pub , golf , wife , dead - Current Score: 18 - Added: 4 months, 28 days ago
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