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The best of fatt's 6 jokes (View All)
| I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out of the window and gave the woman the finger. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Give her the finger? I don't think so. |    |
Joke by fatt, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged women , driver , pms - Current Score: 30 - Added: 3 months, 23 days ago
| Friends are like condoms They are there when things get hard. | |
Joke by fatt, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged condoms , friends , hard - Current Score: 25 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| A racist guy walks into a bar with a shirt that reads: I hate niggers. The bartender sends him into the bathroom to turn it inside out. While the racist is in the bathroom, an African man with a trained monkey comes into the bar and performs for tips. Some people throw in some loose change, others a couple of bucks here and there, but that same racist threw a fifty dollar bill in the tip cup. The bartender saw that and pulled him to the side and said, "hey man...I thought you hated niggers." The racist replied, "I do, but you can't take it out on their kids." | |
Joke by fatt, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged nigger , monkey , racist , albinobob123 - Current Score: 20 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| Whats worse than letting the Mccanns take your kids on holiday? Letting Chris Benoit Babysit. | |
Joke by Fatt, in Celebrity and news events > Maddie And Shannon - Tagged chris benoit , maddie , mccanns - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| Twin Brothers Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jones wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sank. A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear of your great loss, you must feel terrible". Joe smiled and said, "Well I am not a bit sorry, she was rather old from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of dead fish. Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack and a pretty big hole in her front, and that hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could barely handle her, but if anyone else used her she leaked like anything. The thing that finished her was four guys from the other side of town. They came down looking for a good time and asked if I could lend her to them. I warned them she wasnt so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked. Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle". Before he could finish the old lady fainted! | |
Joke by Fatt, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged brothers , twins - Current Score: -2 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
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