ffc2004 has a score of 96 at the moment.
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The best of ffc2004's 4 jokes (View All)
| Broken arms: Painful, but humerus |    |
Joke by ffc2004, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged painful , broken arm , humorous , humerus (bone) , funny , one liner - Current Score: 51 - Added: 3 months, 11 days ago
| My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch." | |
Joke by ffc2004, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged gay , queen - Current Score: 30 - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago
| Nine words women use... 1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement Often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a wom a n can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3. | |
Joke by ffc2004, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged women , lies - Current Score: 10 - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago
| An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examinations on the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?' 'In fact, I do', said the man. 'After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I'm usually hot and sweaty. After I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly.' 'That's interesting', replied the doctor. 'Let me do some research and get back to you.' After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: 'Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?' The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns. The doctor then asked: 'your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?' 'Oh that old coot!' she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in July, and the second time is usually in December!' | |
Joke by ffc2004, in Sex and shit > Old - Tagged old , oap , stupid , sex - Current Score: 1 - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago
Custurd spent 0.11ms doing 10 queries and -0.02s processing. She's 0.25% angry.
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