| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 35 | Total Joke Score: | 7,996 |
| Country: |
United kingdom 
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Total Time Active: | 15 hours, 26 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 305 | Live Jokes: | 139 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 166 | Duplicate Jokes: | 16 |
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The best of frankspankard's 139 jokes (View All)
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You know you're getting old when: I was watching Babe Station. There was this gorgeous girl in a skimpy little French maid's outfit, pushing a vac around, bending over provocatively. And as her little skirt rode up, exposing her lovely little bottom with the little strip of black material covering her crack, all I could think was: "We used to have a Hoover like that one." |
 
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 7 months ago
- Current Score: 873
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I woke up this morning on the settee, with my pants around my feet and a cucumber stuck up my arse. I'd a post-it note stuck to my forehead. It said; "I saw you spike my drink, so swapped them." BITCH! |
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 4 months ago
- Current Score: 615.2
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I walked in on my mate having sex with his girlfriend last night. So, as you do, I walked over and stuck my cock in her mouth. And as he was beating me to a pulp, I made a mental note not to confuse real life with porn. |
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 8 months ago
- Current Score: 484.6
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I was enjoying a bit of bum sex with my girlfriend when she turned to me and said; "Hmm mmm mmhmphmm mm hmmph!" Don't you just love gaffa tape? |
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Joke by frankspankard in Sex and shit - Bondage - Added: 11 months ago
- Current Score: 463.6
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What's the best thing about getting wanked off by a slutty schoolgirl? Having my nice warm Headmaster's office to do it in. |
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Joke by frankspankard in Sex and shit - School - Added: 10 months ago
- Current Score: 461.2
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They say that 15 year old British tennis ace, Laura Robson has grown a good 3 inches since last year's Wimbledon. Well I've grown a good 3 inches at least since the start of her match. |
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 9 months ago
- Current Score: 309.8
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What's the best thing about giving a naughty schoolgirl a damn jolly good spanking? Being able to claim the £500 fee back on my MP's expenses. |
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 10 months ago
- Current Score: 302
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That could've been embarrassing. The wife walked in and caught me wanking over Maria Sharapova. I was actually watching Loose Women but managed to flick over and get my cock out in time. |
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 9 months ago
- Current Score: 299.8
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The doctor told me I need more exercise. I need to do something each day to get my heart racing for half an hour or so. And that, Your Honour, concludes my defence of these ludicrous rape charges. |
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 262.4
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I'm in the doghouse again. The wife walked in the room and said; "Goodnight noughties and hello teenies." So I replied; "Yeah, happy new year, love." To which she bawled out angrily: "Goodnight Naughties and Hello Teenies!" I looked round and the bitch was holding up two DVDs from my collection. Oh shit! Must get better hiding places. |
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Joke by frankspankard which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago
- Current Score: 252.6
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