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The best of funkyfrog's 19 jokes (View All)
| Boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled 'LSD'?" Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!" |    |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged lsd , drugs , granny , hallucinations - Current Score: 297 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the cunt. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?" "Tarzan check for bees." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > camping - Tagged tarzan , cunt , kick , bees , jungle , jane , sex - Current Score: 167 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver's license. He sent off all the forms and all was fine but he was asked to take an eye test. So off he goes and gets himself an appointment the same day, and sits down in the examining chair. The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Religion and racism > Poles / Polish - Tagged pole , polish , eyesight , eyetest , surnames - Current Score: 163 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| After a hard one night stand of fucking, a man is lying with a girl cuddled up in his arms. She starts gently stroking his cock and he asks her, 'Are you still horny?' 'No', she says, 'I just really miss mine!' | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > Sex Change - Tagged sex change , tranny , cock - Current Score: 133 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something. "Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?" "Yes, officer, I know I was speeding, but it is a matter of life or death." "Oh, really? How's that?" "There's a naked woman waiting for me at home." "I don't see how that is a matter of life or death." "If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged cheat , cop , speeding , dead , naked - Current Score: 116 - Added: 9 months, 16 days ago
| Two men are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other and says, "You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm tellin' you, her clit was just like a pickle." "What," the other asks. "Green?". "No," says the first. "A bit sour." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged necrophilia , clit , morgue , death , water , men , green , taste , lick , sour , pickle , dead - Current Score: 111 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Laura Bush: "We have the weekend free darling, what would you like to do?" George Bush: "I'm not sure. Let's think..." Laura Bush: "No, let's do something that you can do too." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Celebrity and news events > George Bush - Tagged 2008 - Current Score: 97 - Added: 8 months, 23 days ago
| A desperate man calls 999, "Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back, "It's OK, I found another one" | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged son , condom , emergency , swallow - Current Score: 90 - Added: 9 months, 16 days ago
| At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" "Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these biscuit purchases. What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits." "I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged jew , rabbi , tax man , foreskin , circumcision , tax - Current Score: 73 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Midget - Tagged midget , laugh , balls , run , grass - Current Score: 71 - Added: 9 months, 16 days ago
Custurd spent 1.9ms doing 16 queries and -0.17s processing. She's 3.43% angry.
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