| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 161 | Total Joke Score: | 48,009 |
| Country: |
United kingdom 
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Total Time Active: | 145 hours, 19 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 999 | Live Jokes: | 462 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 537 | Duplicate Jokes: | 62 |
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The best of furiousg's 462 jokes (View All)
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Selling Bourbon Biscuits for 49p a pack? That's ASDA Price. Selling Plastic Fire Trucks That's Fisher Price Selling pathetic rape claim stories to the Sun? That's Katie Price. |
 
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Joke by furiousg in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price - Added: 6 months ago
- Current Score: 3610.6
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The death of Friends star David Schwimmer this afternoon came as a huge shock to me, but it's made me realise how this website is a primary source of news to many people. Which is why you just believed me that David Schwimmer is dead. |
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Joke by furiousg in Celebrities - ??? Other Celebrities - Added: 8 months ago
- Current Score: 2818.6
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If I ever get a chance to appear on daytime TV, I'm going to say: Cunt, cunt, fuuuuck, shit!! Cock, fuck, cuuuunt!! Shiiitt, fuck, shiiitt, fuck!! Cuuunt, shit, fuuuuck!!!! That way, when they beep it out, it'll spell 'fuck' in morse code. |
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Joke by furiousg which requires categorising - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 1664.6
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I saw this guy in an Italian restaurant ordering pizza in fluent Italian. The waiter seemed to appreciate his willingness to accept their culture. So, I tried the same thing in our local Chinese restaurant. I squinted my eyes and shouted, "Harro! Spesha frah raice prease!" But instead of showing appreciation, they took the upturned prawn-cracker basket from my head and told me to get out. |
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My mates called me stingy so I decided to buy them a beer. Turns out they wanted one each. |
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Joke by furiousg in Sex and shit - Money - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 888.2
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I was driving round a packed car park for ages looking for a space, when finally this old lady started to leave. I drove into the space as quickly as I could, only to hear the angry beeping of a car horn behind me. An Indian guy got out and said: "Hey, you can't take that space, I've been here for nearly an hour!" I got out, slammed my door and said as I walked away: "Well I've been here my whole life, so fuck off!" |
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Joke by furiousg which requires categorising - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 863.4
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My missus told me the shittest joke I've ever heard earlier. "What's the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women." She laughed hysterically until I punched her in the balls. |
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Joke by furiousg in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
- Current Score: 783.6
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People keep telling me my beard makes me look like an axe murderer. I tell them it's a magic beard which disappears when you look away. That usually buys me enough time to reach for my axe. |
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Joke submitted by furiousg, originally by Cynide and Happiness which requires categorising - Added: 8 months ago
- Current Score: 747
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My girlfriend has left me a note: "I'm leaving you because you're so stupid and bigoted." Well I'm not stupid, I'm just dyslexic. And I can't help it if I have big toes. |
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Joke by furiousg which requires categorising - Added: 6 months ago
- Current Score: 741.6
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I asked the assistant in JJB Sports what a cricket box was. Apparently it's a piece of cheap plastic which men put their genitals in. So, a bit like Katie Price then. |
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Joke by furiousg which requires categorising - Added: 5 months ago
- Current Score: 688.4
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