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I love a good laugh and this board provides with many and many cringes! I am trying to add jokes on here to brighten up all our days unless of course you are a cripple paedophile dwarf or some other mocked minority.


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ht has a score of 35624 at the moment.
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The best of ht's 308 jokes (View All)

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > suicide - Tagged library , fuck off , suicide , tim , vine , tim vine  - Current Score: 3339 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

Why don't black people go on cruises?

They're not falling for that one again.
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Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged blacks , cruises , slave  - Current Score: 1451 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged prat , with , a , computor  - Current Score: 1306 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.
Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons' innocence, the mother turns around and says "Don't worry. That was an insect."
To which one of the boys replies "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Dildo - Tagged dildo , cock , insect  - Current Score: 1264 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

Just been to my first Muslim birthday party.

The musical chairs was a bit slow but

fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!!!
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Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged muslim , bomb , games , birthday , party  - Current Score: 1260 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

What's black and doesn't work?

Half of London.
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Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged london , black , work  - Current Score: 1224 - Added: 9 months ago

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

"Oi, what's your disability?"

I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"
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Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Tourettes - Tagged disability , cunt , traffic , tourettes , warden , disabled , shouted  - Current Score: 1036 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around eight PM. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , wife , fuck , golf  - Current Score: 1003 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, "quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "quick, another beer, it's gonna start any second."

"That's it!" She blows her top. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started."
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , beer , tv  - Current Score: 980 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

Why is the bible like a penis?

You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
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Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged penis , bible , priest  - Current Score: 973 - Added: 1 year ago

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