I've got piles.
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itchyanus has a score of 16898 at the moment.
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The best of itchyanus's 265 jokes (View All)
| Britain's Paralympic champions were in tears today after their coach explained there is no chocolate inside the gold medals. |    |
Joke by itchyanus, in Celebrity and news events > Paralympics - Tagged paralympics , gold , chocolate - Current Score: 555 - Added: 2 months, 23 days ago
| My wife is forever saying I don't pay her any attention. So yesterday I was expecting brownie points when I said, "Have you had your hair done dear? You look different." She went ballistic. I won't forget she's having chemotherapy again in a hurry. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Illness and mortality > Cancer - Tagged chemotherapy , cancer , bald , wife - Current Score: 462 - Added: 4 months, 13 days ago
| I was walking home last night when some chav jumped out and drew a knife on me. The little fucker used permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash off. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chav , knife crime , marker , home - Current Score: 366 - Added: 4 months, 7 days ago
| The Muppet Show is set to return to TV for the first time in 27 years. That's nice. Miss Piggy will be able to get a proper job instead of doing those Iceland adverts. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Celebrity and news events > Kerry Katona - Tagged kerry , muppet , katona - Current Score: 287 - Added: 3 months, 4 days ago
| That saying "you are what you eat" is untrue. I am NOT a schoolgirls minge. | |
Joke by ItchyAnus, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedo , minge , eat , cunt - Current Score: 261 - Added: 4 months, 26 days ago
| Feminists say all men are potential rapists but, surely, by that same logic it would mean all women are potential rape victims. And believe me there's a lot of dog-ugly women out there I wouldn't waste my duct tape on. | |
Joke by ItchyAnus, in Sex and shit > Ugly - Tagged rape , ugly , feminist lesbos - Current Score: 260 - Added: 4 months, 23 days ago
| Blacks spent years to free themselves from the chains of slavery. Blood was spilt, lives were lost, millions were displaced, and the scars will last for generations. So what do they do now they are free? They wear the biggest fucking chains they can find! | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged blacks , chains - Current Score: 258 - Added: 4 months, 18 days ago
| According to a report, a third of London's twelve year olds are overweight. Terrible isn't it? That's a one in three chance I'm grooming a chubber on the internet. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Sex and shit > Child Abuse - Tagged fat kids - Current Score: 248 - Added: 3 months, 7 days ago
| It's the seventh anniversary of 9/11 and there will only be one thing on American's minds. Fucking Cheeseburgers! | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged 911 , american , burger - Current Score: 231 - Added: 2 months, 22 days ago
| My wife's back on the bottle. She said fisting just wasn't the same. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Sex and shit > Fisting - Tagged fisting - Current Score: 227 - Added: 3 months, 5 days ago
Custurd spent 1.3ms doing 16 queries and -0s processing. She's 0.60% angry.
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