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The best of jacko93's 6 jokes (View All)
| How can you tell if it's your turn to do the washing up? Look down your trousers and if you've got a cock then it's not your turn. |    |
Joke by jacko93, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged washing up , sexism , cock - Current Score: 24 - Added: 10 months ago
| Whats's the difference between Madeline McCann and Madeline McCann jokes? Madeline McCann jokes will get old! | |
Joke by jacko93, in Celebrity and news events > Madeleine McCann - Tagged maddie , madeline mccann , jokes - Current Score: 20 - Added: 11 months ago
| A Paki was riding through town on his donkey when he sees a man. He stops and gets off his donkey. The man asks 'Is your donkey male or female'? 'Female' says the Paki. 'How do you know?' asked the man. 'Well,' said the Paki. 'When I was riding her through town people were shouting 'Look at the cunt on that donkey'. | |
Joke by jacko93, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , cunt , donkey , sexism - Current Score: 19 - Added: 11 months ago
| A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!" | |
Joke by jacko93, in Jokes with no home > Food - Tagged english , scot , testicles , egg , hen , argument - Current Score: 16 - Added: 11 months ago
| How do you make a Bloody Nicole? Vodka, tomato juice and a stab of OJ. | |
Joke by jacko93, in Celebrity and news events > OJ Simpson - Tagged oj simpson , nicole , vodka , bloody nicole - Current Score: 1 - Added: 11 months ago
| One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply. The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..." The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..." The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...." | |
Joke by jacko93, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged gay , fart , shower - Current Score: 1 - Added: 11 months ago
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