All the king horses and all the kings men could never put a smile on that face.
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The best of justincider's 169 jokes (View All)
| Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents? "He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter." "Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family." "They died together,the perfect couple till the end." Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife. Kind of makes me immortal. |    |
Joke by justincider, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged perfect , family , death - Current Score: 3733 - Added: 1 month, 6 days ago
| My daughter had a charades party for her birthday. After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads. It would seem that holding my cock and wanking furiously while staring at my daughters friends is not the best way to do Gary glitter. | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged daughter , charades , party , dads , cock , wanking - Current Score: 518 - Added: 2 months, 3 days ago
| I think our Olympic canoeists are doing great. None have gone missing so far. | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged olympic , canoe , canoeist , missing - Current Score: 446 - Added: 3 months, 21 days ago
| I was horrified to read about the mother who drowned her disabled daughter in a sink. That is NOT how you make vegetable soup. | |
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Murder - Tagged horrified , drowned , sink , vegetable , soup - Current Score: 280 - Added: 2 months, 9 days ago
| My wife insisted I stopped wanking. "Why?" I asked. "It's perfectly natural." She hissed back; "The kids are trying to eat their dinner." | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged masterbation , wife , kids , dinner - Current Score: 261 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago
| The government have published a guide for parents that will help them spot the tell- tale signs that their son is a gang member. I could save them a lot of money here by just asking the parents one question: "Is your son black?" | |
Joke by justincider, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged government , guide , parents , telltale , gang , member , money - Current Score: 255 - Added: 3 months ago
| It takes balls to be a transvestite. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Transvestite - Tagged balls , tranny , crossdresser , oneliner - Current Score: 229 - Added: 3 months, 20 days ago
| I met this really kinky girl. "Humiliate me " she said. I bought her a Tottenham shirt. | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged tottenham hotspur , kinky , girl , humiliate , shirt - Current Score: 227 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago
| According to research, someone is sexually assaulted every 10 seconds in this country. They must be incredibly good looking. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Sexual Harassment - Tagged research , sexually , assaulted , good looking - Current Score: 208 - Added: 2 months, 10 days ago
| I came home yesterday and found that my wife had discovered my private camcorder collection and was watching one of them. She looked really shocked and I was really angry. So I ruined it for her and told her the little girl dies at the end. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Child Abuse - Tagged home , wife , private , camcorder , shocked , angry , dies - Current Score: 197 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
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