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justincider's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 12 Total Joke Score: 32,392
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 19 hours, 17 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 826 Live Jokes: 355
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 471 Duplicate Jokes: 33


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The best of justincider's 355 jokes (View All)
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 5549.2

FACE. Has their face fallen on one side?

ARMS. Can they raise both arms and keep them there?

SPEECH. Is their speech slurred?

TIME. To rape them. The Rohypnol has taken effect.
 I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Sex and shit - Rohypnol - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 911

My daughter had a charades party for her birthday.
After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads.
It would seem that holding my cock and wanking furiously while staring at my daughters friends is not the best way to do Gary Glitter. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Celebrities - Gary Glitter - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 811

I'm always frank with my sexual partners.
Don't want them knowing my real name, do I ? 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Sex and shit - Promiscuity - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 703.4

My village is holding their annual incest competition.
I've entered my daughter. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Crime - Incest - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 593.4

My son was really scared after swallowing some lego.
He was shitting bricks for a few days. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Other - Children - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 535

'There is safety in numbers'

Unless there are 6,000,000 of you.

And you are all Jews. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Racism - Jew - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 503.4

I think our Olympic canoeists are doing great.

None have gone missing so far. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Sports - Olympics - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 482.2

My wife insisted I stopped wanking.

"Why?" I asked. "It's perfectly natural."

She hissed back; "The kids are trying to eat their dinner." 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider in Sex and shit - Masturbation - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 457.6

I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by justincider which requires categorising - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 441.4

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