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kidneykutter's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 15 Total Joke Score: 1,689
Country: United states US Total Time Active: 6 hours, 4 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 23 Live Jokes: 10
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 13 Duplicate Jokes: 13


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The best of kidneykutter's 10 jokes (View All)
The international financial crisis has gotten so bad, Jewish women are starting to marry for love. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by kidneykutter in Religion - Judaism - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 297

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

I asked why so long a password. "Because," she explained, "the policy states that it had to be at least 8 characters long."
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Joke by kidneykutter in Racism - Blonde - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 286.6

The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is:

After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.

Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year relationship (and, being married men, we all know THAT doesn't happen), it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court costs.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right?

But...

Had Paul McC [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter in Celebrities - Paul McCartney - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 263.2

MALE COMEBACKS TO FEMALE COMEBACKS

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers
you a fucking slut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my
cock.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll g [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 243

You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.



Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your Corvette? Think bef [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter in Other - Advice - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 203.2

A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results.

On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonald's for lunch, and asks the order [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter in Sex and shit - Old - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 143.2

THE LAST TEN THINGS ANY GUY WOULD EVER SAY:
10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8. I'm absolutely wrong, you must be right.
7. Her tits are too big.
6. Sometimes, I just want to be held.
5. That chick on "Murder She Wrote" gives me a woody.
4. Sure, I would love to wear a condom.
3. We haven't been to the mall in ages. Let's go shopping so I can hold your purse.
2. Forg [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter in Other - Male - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 117.4

A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.
Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large Thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the Thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.
She asked, "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?"
The coffee shop worker looked at the Thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter in Sex and shit - Viagra - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 105.2

Why God didn't get tenure
1) He had only 1 major publication
2) It was in Hebrew
3) It wasn't published in a peer reviewed journal
4) It had no bibliography or citations
5) Some doubt he wrote it himself
6) He may have created the world, but what has He done lately?
7) The scientific community has not been able to replicate the results
8) He never received permission from the ethics board to use human subjects
9) When one experiment [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter which requires categorising - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 26.2

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?

A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked
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Joke by kidneykutter in Sex and shit - Marriage - Added: 4 weeks ago - Current Score: 6.6

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