I'm not Jesus Christ - I've learned to accept that.
[img]http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/705/wasted5secondsiw2.gif[/img]
[img]http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/705/wasted5secondsiw2.gif[/img]
kitkat456's Statistics
kitkat456 has a score of 1678 at the moment.
The score reflects joke quality and moderation rewards.
Send kitkat456 a message
The best of kitkat456's 13 jokes (View All)
| A man says to his wife, "tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time." His wife replies, "you've got a bigger dick than your brother." |    |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > families - Tagged dick , family , wife , husband - Current Score: 434 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. "Do you have reservations?" inquires the receptionist. "Only one," replies the groom, "She won't take it up the arse." | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Sex and shit > Anal - Tagged marriage , married , reservation , honeymoon , hotel - Current Score: 217 - Added: 1 year ago
| A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf? We haven't got any fucking bread. Ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar, you irritating bastard bird!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged duck , bread , pub , bar , animal , nail - Current Score: 205 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I had an appointment at the sperm bank today, but I had to call up to say I couldn't come. | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged sperm bank , sperm , cum - Current Score: 130 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A woman got on a bus holding a baby. "Blimey," the bus driver said, "that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me!" she fumed. The man sympathised and said, "He's a public servant! He shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right!" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man agreed. "Here, let me hold your monkey." | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > Baby - Tagged baby , monkey , bus - Current Score: 87 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A science teacher asked his class, "How do you make a hormone?" Little Johnny replied, "Don't pay her." | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged prostitute , money , pay , whore - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year ago
| A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, "Come over here friend. You look like you've had a hard life and I'd like to buy you a drink." The pirate came over and ordered rum. "Just out of curiosity," the man said, "how did you lose your leg?" "Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard for stealing a man's rum." "That's just terrible. How did you lose your hand?" the man said. "Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that fighting cannibals off Madagascar under Admiral Hawk." "Oh my!" the man said, "I can't even imagine! How did you lose your eye?" "Arrrgh! A seagull pooped in it!" said the pirate. "A seagull!" the man exclaimed. "Is seagull poop dangerous?!" he asked. "Nay, matey, it was me first day with the hook..." | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > Clean - Tagged pirate , rum , clean - Current Score: 67 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Just got back from the World Strawberry Picking Championships. Lost in the final to a girl with no legs. Jammy cunt. | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged strawberry , jammy , cunt , legs - Current Score: 55 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat. | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged miss piggy , kermit , muppets - Current Score: 43 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A German guy approaches a lady of the night. "I vish to buy sex viz you." "OK," says the girl, "I'll charge 20 an hour." "..ist goot, but I must varn, I am little kinky." "No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky." So off they go to the girl's place, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees." The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans und knees." She does this, balancing precariously on the springs. "You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make the love to you." She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.) She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?" "Ah," says the German . . ."zat is ze.... four-sprung Duck technique. | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Religion and racism > German - Tagged german , sex , audi , car , prostitute - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
Server: Custurd in 0.41s using 15 queries. She's 0.38% angry.
Sickipedia v2.1 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel