I am a complete bastard, and I revel in it!
Come on you O's!!!!!!!
Come on you O's!!!!!!!
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lashley has a score of 1495 at the moment.
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The best of lashley's 49 jokes (View All)
| Apparently, the Popemobile has 3 inch thick bullet-proof glass. There's fucking faith for you. |    |
Joke by lashley, in Religion and racism > Pope - Tagged pope , catholicism , catholic , religion , car , bill hicks - Current Score: 375 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
| George W Bush and Gordon Brown are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. The both decide to test it by asking a question each. George goes first "What will the USA be like in 100 years time" The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out "The country is in good hands under the new president, crime is non-existant, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries" Gordon Brown thinks "Its not bad this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks "What will Britain be like in 100 years time?" The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it. "Come on Gordon" says George, "Share what it says" "I can't read it George! Its all in Punjabi!" | |
Joke by lashley, in Religion and racism > Asian - Tagged brown , bush - Current Score: 181 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| Apparently zoo's are showing porn to endangered species of Panda to encourage them to have sex and reproduce. This strikes me as bollocks. If a male panda watches a porno, all he'll want to do is get sucked off, fuck Mrs Panda up the back alley and shoot all over her face. That's really going to get them pregnant isn't it. | |
Joke by lashley, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged reproduction , panda , porn - Current Score: 151 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Watching an old episode of Catchphrase the other day, it occurred to me that when Roy Walker said, "say what you see", surely the answer "a smug Irish cunt" would win every time? | |
Joke by lashley, in Jokes with no home > Television - Tagged viz - Current Score: 142 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
| You ever wonder whether Uri Geller can keep a hard on when he has a wank? | |
Joke by lashley, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged jerry sadowitz , uri geller - Current Score: 100 - Added: 1 month, 13 days ago
| Watching a mucky movie the other day it occurred to me that a lot of female porn stars have tan lines Considering their job, and that they're happy to be violently taken up the arse by a bloke who has a table leg for a penis and have said bloke empty his bollocks all over their face/tits/whatever for world consumption and one handed viewing, I find it rather rich that they are too coy to get their tits out on the beach | |
Joke by lashley, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged porn , tan , tits , bollocks - Current Score: 97 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I fucking hate Canada. Half of them speak French and the other half fucking allow it to happen! | |
Joke by lashley, in Religion and racism > Canooks - Tagged jerry sadowitz - Current Score: 84 - Added: 1 month, 25 days ago
| Whats Green and can't be trusted? Sickipedia's duplication checker | |
Joke by lashley, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged green , sickipedia duplication - Current Score: 49 - Added: 1 month, 7 days ago
| How do you know Tottenham Hotspur are losing? It's five past three on a Saturday. | |
Joke by lashley, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged spurs , tottenham hotspur , losers , ramos - Current Score: 28 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| A Doctor goes up to a patient in his hospital bed "I have good news and bad news, what would you like first?" "The bad news please doc" "Well the bad news is you have 3 months to live" "Oh my God, how can there be any good news after that?" "Well there is, you see that nurse over by the opposite bed?" "Yeah" says the patient "The blonde one" "The blonde one with the massive breasts right there?" asks the patient, his eyes widening a bit "Yeah her" says the doc "The good news is... I'm shagging her" | |
Joke by lashley, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged hospital , news - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month, 7 days ago
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