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The best of lionarse's 18 jokes (View All)
| Jade Goody has cancer, and she claims that she is worried that hair loss might ruin her looks. Nice to see she hasn't lost her sense of humour. |    |
Joke by lionarse, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged jade goody , cancer , ugly - Current Score: 1005 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| Olympic organisers are very disappointed that so few local children have been attending Olympic events. But, be fair, how could they? They were at work. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged olympics , china , children - Current Score: 203 - Added: 3 months, 21 days ago
| If any members of the Chinese Government or Olympic Organisers are reading this, I would like to make this firm statement on behalf of myself and millions of other Britons- We don't give a fuck about Tibet. Now please get the beach volleyball started. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Religion and racism > Chinese - Tagged china , chinese , olympics , beach volleyball , tits , tibet , recent news bbc news , britons - Current Score: 195 - Added: 3 months, 27 days ago
| I went to see Frankie Boyle live last night, read a few Viz comics on the way home and then watched a Jimmy Carr DVD as I was going to bed. Its amazing, but nearly all their jokes were stolen from Sickipedia! | |
Joke by lionarse, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , frankie boyle , viz , joke , jokes , stolen , jimmy carr - Current Score: 171 - Added: 4 months, 23 days ago
| Following the shocking news that Jade Goody has cancer there has been a plea for suitable donors of Bone Marrow to come forward, as this could save her life. Alternatively, you could just donate it it to my dog- he is a bit peckish. Please, make the right choice. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged jade goody , cancer , dog - Current Score: 155 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| I'm sure that, like me, you are very proud of our Olympic cycling gold medal winners. Truly, they are sporting heroes who have done wonders for British sport. I can't wait for them to return home, when they will once again become wankers in Spandex who clog up the roads and get in the way of cars. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged olympics , cycling , britain , wankers , cars , bike - Current Score: 139 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| A friend at work was telling me that casual or accidental/implied racism is the worst kind - and he should know, being a nigger himself. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged nigger , work , black - Current Score: 101 - Added: 3 months, 21 days ago
| What do you get if you combine a Polish person with a Scouser? Someone who steals all the jobs. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged polish , liverpool , work , scouser , steal - Current Score: 61 - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago
| A Scottish mate of mine is into "Heavy S and M." He enjoys nothing better than being beaten up by a vicious woman whilst naked and vulnerable. Anyway, he was telling me that he goes to brothels for this several times a week. "Fuck me," I said, "that must cost you a fortune!" "Nah," he replied, "I just book a normal service, fuck her, then tell her I haven't got any money." | |
Joke by lionarse, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged sex , bondage , s and m , brothel , scottish , money , prostitue , whipping , beating , mean - Current Score: 48 - Added: 4 months ago
| Barry George is in an unusually advantagous position. Having served 8 years for a crime he didn't do, he is, strictly speaking, owed 8 years worth of crimes. Given that you tend to only get 8-10 years for sexual assault nowdays he has been in effect given "one free rape." Although I doubt that makes up for the 100s he probably got in prison. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Celebrity and news events > Barry George - Tagged rape , prison , crime , bum , gay , barry george , jill dando - Current Score: 44 - Added: 3 months, 28 days ago
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