I only post on here as i've been banned from every other Site on the net.
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monkeyman has a score of 4008 at the moment.
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The best of monkeyman's 34 jokes (View All)
| Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom to find his Dad giving his Mum one. His Dad smirks and throws a pillow at the door saying, "Get outta here, you little shit!" A couple of hours later Dad hears a whole lot of commotion coming from little Johnny's bedroom. He goes up to find little Johnny giving his Grandma a right royal seeing to. Little Johnny smiles, "It's not so fucking funny when it's YOUR mum, is it?" |    |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged little johnny , granny - Current Score: 838 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A local paedophile ring has made the unprecedented step of issuing a statement after being accused of hiding Shannon Matthews for two weeks. They said, "Fuck off - we do have some standards, you know." | |
Joke by monkeyman, in Celebrity and news events > Shannon Matthews - Tagged shannon matthews , ugly , paedophile - Current Score: 473 - Added: 8 months, 19 days ago
| New car being launched in Portugal, space in the boot for a child. Its called the Renault McCann. | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Celebrity and news events > A Levels - Tagged portugal , renault , car boot , madeleine mccann - Current Score: 472 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| What's nine inches long and dangles in front of a cunt? Steve McLaren's tie | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged football , soccer , mcclaren , cunt - Current Score: 286 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Following the controversy over Mohammed the bear, Sooty has decided to cancel his tour of Africa | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Celebrity and news events > Teddy Bear Mohammed - Tagged teddy , mohammed , sooty , africa , sudan , lenny henry - Current Score: 190 - Added: 1 year ago
| How do you make a Jewish Omelette? First you borrow 3 eggs.... | |
Joke by monkeyman, in Religion and racism > Jews - Tagged jew , omelette , egg , cooking - Current Score: 173 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up. "No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up. "No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up. "No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?" Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged chickens , cocks , priest , altar boy , paedophile , sex - Current Score: 141 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from Hong Kong to Sydney, Australia. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores and my head stuffed up a sheeps arsehole than let liquor touch my lips." The Aussie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice." | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Religion and racism > Australians - Tagged aussie , muslim , plane , drink , alcohol , sheep , rape , whore - Current Score: 128 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Shannon Matthews has been found alive and unharmed. Thank goodness she was too ugly to molest. | |
Joke by monkeyman, in Celebrity and news events > Shannon Matthews - Tagged shannon matthews , nonce , ugly - Current Score: 121 - Added: 8 months, 19 days ago
| A man walks over to a lady in a bar. "What's your name?" he asks. The lady replies, "Carmen, because I like cars and men. What's yours?" "Beercunt," he replies. | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged beer , chat up , bar - Current Score: 112 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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