mrluxuryyacht has a score of 1254 at the moment.
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The best of mrluxuryyacht's 19 jokes (View All)
| I saw a woman in a burkha selling the Big Issue yesterday. That's sad, I thought: they're even stealing jobs from the homeless now. |    |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged muslim , burkha , homeless , big issue - Current Score: 217 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| How come "I'm sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing, except if you say them at a funeral? -Demetri Martin | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged funeral , sorry , apology - Current Score: 200 - Added: 5 months, 7 days ago
| My wife once asked me how I could sleep knowing I was killing myself by smoking. "It's easy," I said, "I know I'm killing you through passive smoking." | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Jokes with no home > Smoking - Tagged smoking , passive smoking , death , wife - Current Score: 111 - Added: 5 months ago
| You'd think with all the slavery, exploitation and invasion of oil rich countries, the Americans would be able to pay us the tax they owe us. Then we could put this silly independence nonsense behind us. | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged independence day , taxes , america - Current Score: 96 - Added: 4 months, 29 days ago
| Apparently the government are introducing a discrimination bill to make it easier for women to find employment in traditionally male dominated areas. There should definitely be more women judges: more criminals would be found guilty and sentenced, but none of them would actually know what they had done wrong. | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Celebrity and news events > Government - Tagged discrimination , women - Current Score: 92 - Added: 5 months, 6 days ago
| After saying I didn't want to go and see my mother-in-law in hospital, my wife said I needed to sort my priorities out. So I filed for divorce, got drunk and went to watch the football. | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Jokes with no home > Mother-In-Law - Tagged priorites , wife , football , beer , mother in law - Current Score: 70 - Added: 4 months, 14 days ago
| Some people say they don't understand the mentality of suicide bombers. But if I couldn't drink, and every woman I saw was covered from head to toe, I'd be queueing up to strap a bomb on. | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Religion and racism > Suicide Bombers - Tagged muslim , suicide bomber , alcohol , burkha - Current Score: 63 - Added: 5 months, 5 days ago
| I don't know why people are against human-animal hybrid embryos. I mean, how else are we going to get monkey butlers? | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Celebrity and news events > hybrid embryos - Tagged embryos , monkey , butler - Current Score: 46 - Added: 4 months, 19 days ago
| So the Olympics start soon, followed afterwards by the Paralympics. The phrases "didn't they all do well" and "it's not the winning, but the taking part that matters" will be used many, many times during the Paralympics. I mean, who seriously watches it? I would watch it if they added a few events, such as midget boxing, blind javelin and wheelchair high dive. | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Celebrity and news events > Paralympics - Tagged blind - Current Score: 46 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| Apparently the government want to take kids who carry knives into hospital to show them victims of knife crime. Brilliant idea, teach them where to stab people to make sure they die. | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Celebrity and news events > Knife Crime - Tagged knives , hospital , youngters , stabbing - Current Score: 43 - Added: 4 months, 19 days ago
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