You're a cunt!
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nassi has a score of 904 at the moment.
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The best of nassi's 22 jokes (View All)
| A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. But see your friend over there? He is also my son. That's confidential." |    |
Joke by nassi, in Jokes with no home > Children - Tagged son , confident , confidential - Current Score: 180 - Added: 1 month, 17 days ago
| According to a recent survey by the Academy of Incomplete Research, nine out of ten | |
Joke by nassi, in Jokes with no home > Statistics - Tagged research , survey , incomplete , statistics - Current Score: 152 - Added: 7 months ago
| Recently a bloke went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off his penis. Seems his girlfriend found the ring in his trousers pocket, and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep. I don't know what's worse: 1) Having your girlfriend find out you're married; 2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis; 3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring. | |
Joke by nassi, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged penis , girlfriend , wedding ring - Current Score: 146 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| What do you call a female peacock? A peacunt. | |
Joke by nassi, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged peacock , bird , cock , cunt - Current Score: 141 - Added: 5 months, 22 days ago
| How to speak New Zealand Say out loud for full effect! Milburn - capital of Victoria Peck - to fill a suitcase Pissed aside - chemical which kills insects Pigs - for hanging out washing with Pump - to act as agent for prostitute Pug - large animal with a curly tail Nin tin dough - computer game Munner stroney - soup Min - male of the species Mess Kara - eye makeup McKennock - person who fixes cars Mere - Mayor Leather - foam produced from soap Lift - departed Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman Kittle crusps - potato chips Ken's - Cairns Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim Jungle Bills - Christmas carol Inner me - enemy Guess - vapour Fush - marine creatures Fitter cheney - type of pasta Ever cardeau - avocado Fear hear - blonde Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym Duffy cult - not easy Amejen - visualise Day old chuck - very young poultry Bug hut - popular recording Bun button - been bitten by insect Beard - a place to sleep Sucks Peck - Half a dozen beers Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline Beers - large savage animals found in U.S. forests Veerjun - mythical New Zealand maiden One Doze - well known computer program Brudge - structure spanning a stream Sex - one less than sivven Tin - one more than nine Iggs Ecktly - Precisely Earplane - large flying machine Beggage Chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport Sivven Sucks Sivven - large Boeing aircraft Sivven Four Sivven - larger Boeing aircraft Cuds - children Pits - domestic animals Cuttin - baby cat Munce - usually served on toast | |
Joke by nassi, in Religion and racism > New Zealander - Tagged kiwi , new zealand , new zealander , accent , fush & chups - Current Score: 38 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago
| Have you heard about the new American radio station called WPMS? Each month, they play two weeks of love songs, one week of blues, one week of ragtime and two days of death metal. | |
Joke by nassi, in Jokes with no home > PMS - Tagged pms , radio , music , blues , ragtime , metal , america , american - Current Score: 25 - Added: 6 months, 25 days ago
| A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him a verbal jab, "they don't serve beer here, you moron!" The German fellow felt embarrassed. However, he turned to the New Yorker with a surprised look on his face and begins to chuckle. "And what's so funny?" the New Yorker demands. "Oh, nothing really, I just realised how stupid you are. You came here for the food!" | |
Joke by nassi, in Jokes with no home > McDonalds - Tagged mcdonalds , american , german , new york , beer , food - Current Score: 25 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago
| A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two large plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. Unfortunately, there's a rip in one of the bags, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Madam, there are £20 notes falling out of your bag." "Oh, really? Darn!" says the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can collect them. Thanks for the warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no," says the little old lady. "You see, my backyard is right next to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee through the bushes, right into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingy through the bushes, I say, '£20 or off it comes'!" "Well, that seems only fair." laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well", says the little old lady, "not everybody pays." | |
Joke by nassi, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged penis , hedgeclipper , football , pee - Current Score: 22 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Constipated people don't give a shit. | |
Joke by nassi, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged shit , constipation - Current Score: 20 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat conspicuously unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the opportunity, he took the seat. As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind him yelled, "YEAH BABY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!" The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look. A few minutes into the show, the dancer did a move and snatched off her top, revealing two tassels provocatively placed over her nipples. The guy behind our friend goes off again. "YEAH BABY! SHAKE THOSE THINGS." Our friend turned around and said, "Hey buddy, calm down!" After a few moments, the dancer did another move, and snatched off her dress, revealing a very thin G-string. Again the man behind our friend yelled out, "OH BABY! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!" Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the hell up, will ya?" A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and snatched off both the tassels and the G-string, and the whole club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious, our friend turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your enthusiasm now?" The guy responded, "It's on your back, dude." | |
Joke by nassi, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged strip club , stripper , enthusiasm - Current Score: 19 - Added: 7 months, 2 days ago
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