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owd humper's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 0 Total Joke Score: 2,802
Country:   Total Time Active: 22 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 52 Live Jokes: 17
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 35 Duplicate Jokes: 5


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The best of owd humper's 17 jokes (View All)
Hmmm, snow.

The only time four inches can keep a woman in bed all day. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper in Other - Snow - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1047.8

I recently used the word "nigger" in front of my wife.

She said, "You can't say that, it's insulting. Say African-American instead."

Surely that's insulting them twice. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper which requires categorising - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 957

I went to the hairdressers yesterday and asked for a Number 2 all over.

So he shat on my head. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper in Other - Professions - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 362.2

I was looking through my child porn collection the other day. I noticed that I didn't have any videos from the mid 80s.

Then I realised - that's when the minors went on strike. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 143.4

I did an absolutely horrible shit in my girlfriends toilet the other day. It was terrible - I just couldn't get rid of it.

I wish someone would design a potty with a flush. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper which requires categorising - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 78

Apparently apartheid started when the president of South Africa went to put on a load of washing and found a note stuck to the machine saying:

"Make sure you keep the colours separate from the whites". 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper in Racism - Apartheid - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 52.4

Further to the oxymoron theme, here's a few more:

US intelligence
Womens rights
Black Beauty 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper in Racism - American - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 49

I hope Josef Fritzl gets sent to prison for a long, long time. It's an absolutely terrible thing that he did.

If he wanted to do a cellar conversion, he should have applied for planning permisson like everone else. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper in Crime - Incest - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 35.2

I recently bought my girlfriend some perfume for her birthday. I told her:

"The name of your fragrance is where I'd most like to take you. If I let you open it, you have to let me do it."

"Of course" she cried in excitement, ripping off the wrapping paper. "I love 'Paris' by Yves Saint Laurent."

The smile soon dropped from her face when she saw that I'd bought her Coco Chanel. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper which requires categorising - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 27

I heard a bloke singing, "Do... Re... Mi..." the other day.

I thought to myself, "He'll go Far." 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by owd humper which requires categorising - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 21

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