I hope you find this stuff funny, 90 percent are my original thoughts. But, fuck it, i had a to steal a few!
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The best of pally76's 75 jokes (View All)
| Isn't Sickipedia fucking brilliant...! It's the only place in the world that you can happily make jokes about blind, dyslexic, autistic, quadriplegic and sexually abused five-year-old girls all day long... ...but you face moral outrage if you dare to duplicate an old joke... |    |
Joke by pally76, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , duplicate , quadriplegic , autistic , abused - Current Score: 1112 - Added: 5 months, 2 days ago
| My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs. | |
Joke by pally76, in Jokes with no home > Wife - Tagged ex wife , deaf , signs - Current Score: 293 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| It has been reported in the press that Steven Hawking suffered a terrible crash today... ..luckily, though, he was able to reboot. | |
Joke by pally76, in Celebrity and news events > Stephen Hawking - Tagged steven hawking , reboot , crash - Current Score: 219 - Added: 4 months, 5 days ago
| I live in a mainly Muslim community and I'm really fed up with the politically correct bollocks around here. My local pub had to change its name from The Flying Pig, nobody speaks English in any shop you go in and you can barely cook a bacon sarnie without upsetting some Pakistani or another! So I was so happy to see my local swimming pool fighting back, and ruining their fun for a change. It had big sign on the wall stating: STRICTLY NO BOMBING | |
Joke by pally76, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged muslim , bombing , swimming - Current Score: 195 - Added: 5 months, 27 days ago
| I don't usually watch these sort of programmes on TV, but today I thought I'd give it a go. Basically, I've just sat for two hours watching a house full of egotistical, fame-hungry, gay, bisexual, perverted, drunken and blind morons who are hopelessly out of touch with reality. They spend all day lounging around the house without doing anything constructive, all the while talking mindless crap and shouting over one another to see who can grab the most attention of the viewing public. And at the end of this brain numbing bullshit, I was still no closer to deciding who I should vote for.... Labour or Conservative? | |
Joke by pally76, in Celebrity and news events > Politics - Tagged labour , house - Current Score: 151 - Added: 5 months, 26 days ago
| I was watching a sports round-up the other day. I think that it's so inspiring to see someone who was badly burnt as a child, suffers from dwarfism and downs syndrome can still reach the pinnacle of their chosen sport. So may I say congratulations to Carlos Tevez on a fantastic goal against Liverpool. | |
Joke by pally76, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged tevez , football - Current Score: 139 - Added: 2 months, 14 days ago
| There really is no pleasing some women. I recently put up a bird table. My wife went fuckin mad... I don't know why... i gave her 6 out of 10, which is more than fair.. | |
Joke by pally76, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , bird table , women , bird , pleasing - Current Score: 134 - Added: 5 months, 20 days ago
| I was watching British Paralympic swimming gold medalist Eleanor Simmons being interviewed on TV today. This girl is only thirteen-years-old and, despite suffering from dwarfism, she has risen to the challenge and achieved more than many able-bodied athletes will do in their entire careers. Unfortunately this early success seems to have affected her personality... ...as she has clearly become very big-headed. | |
Joke by pally76, in Celebrity and news events > Paralympics - Tagged paralypics , swimming , big headed , doesnt stop you lot wanking over her though - Current Score: 129 - Added: 2 months, 17 days ago
| I was the DJ at a French wedding last week. For a laugh, during the speeches, I decided to toast the bride and groom... ...the guests didn't see the funny side.. nor did the fire brigade.. | |
Joke by pally76, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french wedding , toast , fire brigade - Current Score: 102 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| When I was younger, the British care system really let me down. Growing up, my dad would beat me every week without fail. This went on for years until, one day, I finally plucked up the courage to phone Childline. However, upon a thorough investigation, the so called childcare experts decided that constantly topping my high-score on Pac-Man, Donkey Kong and Outrun did not constitute abuse. | |
Joke by pally76, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged abuse , childline , pacman - Current Score: 95 - Added: 4 months, 8 days ago
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