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The best of parktower's 2 jokes (View All)
| A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, "Mary. Mary." "Is that you, Fred?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again." "Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven." "Not exactly - I'm a rabbit in Suffolk." |    |
Joke by parktower, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged afterlife , death , fear - Current Score: 117 - Added: 7 months, 17 days ago
| The Bird Feeder I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it lovingly with seed. It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table and next to the barbecue. Then came the bird shit. It was everywhere; on the patio tile, the chairs, the table... everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone.I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal. Now let's see.... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.Then the illegal?s came by the millions. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 or more families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by a doctor in an emergency room because it is filled with illegals; Your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'The Union Jack' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.It?s just my opinion but: Maybe, just maybe, it's time for the government to take down the damn bird feeder. | |
Joke by parktower, in Religion and racism > Assylum Seekers - Tagged britain , birds , asylum , illegals - Current Score: 83 - Added: 8 months, 17 days ago
Custurd spent 0.08ms doing 8 queries and -0.02s processing. She's 0.72% angry.
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