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Mostly just random jokes I think of off the top of my head- these are all orginals, ie not stuff I've heard at work or copied from other sites. I try! Oh yeah, except the Peter cook quote. Thats from Peter Cook. Obviously.

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The best of petejtool's 21 jokes (View All)

I was at a family gathering and I had a shocking realisation. I saw my mother-in-law, and it hit me - in 25 years time, that's what my wife will look like. But it wasn't all bad - it occured to me that, in 25 years, our young daughter will probably look like my wife does now - so there is always that option.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , mother in law , ugly , sex , incest , baby , women , daughter , family  - Current Score: 217 - Added: 3 months, 9 days ago

A work colleague came back from holiday and asked me what I thought of her tan. My response, "You look like a Paki," probably wasn't the best thing to say. Sorry Padmina.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by petejtool, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , pakis , tan , work  - Current Score: 133 - Added: 2 months, 8 days ago

I can only assume, for his sake, that whoever coined the phrase "it's better to give than to receive" wasn't talking about blow jobs.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged blow job , oral sex , sex , proverbs , gay , cocksucker  - Current Score: 126 - Added: 3 months, 11 days ago

Children these days can't win. You get in trouble for refusing to take part in Muslim prayers during RE lessons, but when you try to show an understanding of Islam by drawing a nice picture of Mohammed in art lessons you get in trouble for that, too. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged islam , mohammed , double standards , school , cheshire , muslim , muslims , pakis , paki , mohammed picture controversy , danish  - Current Score: 118 - Added: 3 months ago

I like the classic Martin Luther King line "I have a dream..." followed by a long list of what that dream is about. It is seen by many as a great symbol of progress, but all it tells me is what we knew already: niggers spend a lot of time sleeping.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by petejtool, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged nigger , niggers , martin luther king , i have a dream , usa , america , civil rights  - Current Score: 102 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago

Apparently paedophilia, and the urge to molest children, has a direct link to what is contained in genes...

Specifically, a nice tight teenage arse.
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Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged jeans , genes , paedo , arse , teen  - Current Score: 78 - Added: 4 weeks ago

Social Services have been round to take my son off me.

Apparently I misunderstood; A child needs lots of TLC, not THC.
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Joke by petejtool, in Illness and mortality > Drugs - Tagged cannabis , tlc , thc , pot , weed , smoking , drugs , drug , children , child , tender loving care , tetrahydrocannabinol  - Current Score: 74 - Added: 3 months, 9 days ago

Following the finding of the mutilated body of a young man in Manchester's gay district, police have said that they intend to intensively probe members of the homosexual community. Apparently they are already forming a queue.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged gay , homosexual , probe , police , manchester , murder  - Current Score: 59 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago

Apparently, people who masturbate often are less likely to have a wet dream.

To be honest, I wouldn't know - I've never had a wet dream in my life.
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Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Wet Dream - Tagged wet dream , masturbation , wanking , wank  - Current Score: 41 - Added: 2 months ago

Why are sickipedia jokes like schoolboys?

Some scumbags can't resist fiddling with them.
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Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged people who alter jokes , paedos , joke , sickipedia , scumbags  - Current Score: 34 - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago

Custurd spent 0.04ms doing 16 queries and 0.08s processing. She's 0.29% angry.
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