A doctor in Dublin wanted a day off work to go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
'Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of
all me patients'.

'Yes, sir!' answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks:
'So,Murphy, how was your day?'

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.
'The first one [...]

A doctor in Dublin wanted a day off work to go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
'Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of
all me patients'.

'Yes, sir!' answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks:
'So,Murphy, how was your day?'

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.
'The first one had a headache, so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.'

'Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?' asks the doctor.

'The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir' says Murphy.
'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the doctor.

'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman borsts in, so she does. Like a bolt outta the
blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!''

"Thunderin Lord Jesus Murphy, what did you do?' asks the doctor.

'I put drops in her eyes.'

Paddy started his new job as a roofer.

His foreman, Murphy, watched him as he nailed a slate in place, took out the next nail, looked at and tossed it away, nailed a slate in place, took out the next nail, looked at and tossed it away, nailed a slate in place, took out the next nail, looked at and tossed it away and so on.

Murphy asked, "why do you keep throwing dem nails away like dat?"

Paddy replied, "coz half of dem got the points at [...]

Paddy started his new job as a roofer.

His foreman, Murphy, watched him as he nailed a slate in place, took out the next nail, looked at and tossed it away, nailed a slate in place, took out the next nail, looked at and tossed it away, nailed a slate in place, took out the next nail, looked at and tossed it away and so on.

Murphy asked, "why do you keep throwing dem nails away like dat?"

Paddy replied, "coz half of dem got the points at the wrong end!"

Murphy replied, "well, don't waste dem like dat, save dem for when we do the ceiling inside."