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The best of rawmarsh's 20 jokes (View All)
| According to police reports, there are apparently no less than three paedophiles living on my street. That really is shocking... I wonder who the other two are? |    |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedo , paedophile , police , kids , child abuse - Current Score: 248 - Added: 3 months, 4 days ago
| I saw on the news that an Australian had gone missing in Jordan. Peter Andre really should be more careful when he licks her out... | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Sex and shit > camping - Tagged jordan , missing tourist , big cunt , cunt , peter andre - Current Score: 127 - Added: 3 months, 5 days ago
| I wish we were more like America. No, really, I do. In some ways we are already very similar. Many of our cities are full of ethnic minorities, but the Americans have one up on us here. Imagine how nice it would be if Bradford was below sea level and in a hurricane zone too? | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged bradford , pakis , new orleans , america - Current Score: 66 - Added: 3 months ago
| The great Philosopher, Jean-Paul Sartre, once said that "It would be hell to spend eternity trapped in a room with your friends." Personally, I'd say that is bollocks, but we really do need to put this in context- his mates were French. | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged red dwarf , french , france - Current Score: 51 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
| Just think- if you combined Wayne Rooney and Gary Glitter you would have a bloke who likes women of the normal age. | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged old , sex , wayne rooney , gary glitter , paedo - Current Score: 34 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| The comedian Roy "Chubby" Brown has made a career out of being known as the "Fat Bastard" and cracking endless crude, sexist gags. As such, when I saw him in town recently with a female companion on his arm, I yelled at him- "Oi, Chubby, you fat cunt, are you going to shag that or enter it in Crufts?" His response- to call his personal security and have them beat me up - was true comic genius. | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Illness and mortality > Fat - Tagged roy chubby brown , chubby brown , fat cunt , crufts , violence - Current Score: 25 - Added: 3 months, 4 days ago
| I was walking through town today when a couple of students came up to me with "Save the Earth" t-shirts on. They were desperately explaining to me how overuse of the airlines is killing the planet. Noticing an odd accent, I asked where they were from...turns out they were from New Zealand. Hypocritical cunts! | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Celebrity and news events > Environment - Tagged environment , new zealand , cunts - Current Score: 25 - Added: 3 months, 4 days ago
| A group of popstars are sitting chatting one day. "Well", begins Yoko Ono, " I remember when me and my husband John went out and protested against Vietnam, it felt so good to be active." At this point, Bono chips in " Vietnam? Get with the times, my current partner wasn't even born during the Vietnam War- but we certainly did our bit to protest when Bush's War on Terror broke out, so we did!" Gary Glitter leans over, smiles, and say "Mate, I'll tell you something- MY current partner wasn't even born when Bush's War on Terror broke out..." | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged paedo , yoko ono , gary glitter , bono - Current Score: 18 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| I don't see what's so "special" about these paralympic games; I see thousands of total spastics, often much worse than these athletes, every day. Although, in fairness, it should be pointed out I work in Leeds. | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Celebrity and news events > Paralympics - Tagged leeds , spastics , paralympics - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 months, 25 days ago
| I was chatting to my wife's parents, and I told them I thought they they were like condoms. "Ah," replied my father-in-law, with a sly wink, "I know this one - it's because we will protect you when things get hard, isn't it?" "No," I replied, "it's because you are stuck up cunts." | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged cunt , condom - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
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