This prisoner escapes after 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman [...]

This prisoner escapes after 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain and do what he tells you, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably really dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, and thought you were cute. He asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom, so I told him where to find it. Be strong, darling. I love you, too."

A man was walking along the beach one day, when he happened to pass by a very lovely young woman that didn't have any arms or legs, gently sobbing to herself...

"Why the tears?" he asked.
She says, "I'm eighteen years old and I've never been kissed."
The man pauses for a moment, then smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the head.
She laughs a little and puckers up so he gives her a big kiss on the lips.
They pause for an unsure moment [...]

A man was walking along the beach one day, when he happened to pass by a very lovely young woman that didn't have any arms or legs, gently sobbing to herself...

"Why the tears?" he asked.
She says, "I'm eighteen years old and I've never been kissed."
The man pauses for a moment, then smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the head.
She laughs a little and puckers up so he gives her a big kiss on the lips.
They pause for an unsure moment and then she says, "You know... I'm eighteen years old... and I've never been fucked!"
The man stands up starts smiling and grabs the young woman by the hair and tosses her into the sea.
She starts screaming and bobbing up and down, then the man shouts, "WELL YOU'RE FUCKED NOW, DARLING!"

A woman has been in a coma for 3 months, showing no signs of recovery.

One day, whilst giving her a bed bath, the nurse notices that there is a flicker on the monitor when they are cleaning her cunt.

The doctors send for her husband and tactfully explain the situation suggesting that he tries oral sex to see if it gets a bigger response. So the medical staff draw the curtains to give him some privacy and await developments.

After about five minutes all t [...]

A woman has been in a coma for 3 months, showing no signs of recovery.

One day, whilst giving her a bed bath, the nurse notices that there is a flicker on the monitor when they are cleaning her cunt.

The doctors send for her husband and tactfully explain the situation suggesting that he tries oral sex to see if it gets a bigger response. So the medical staff draw the curtains to give him some privacy and await developments.

After about five minutes all the monitors suddenly go berserk and they rush in to find the woman stone dead.

"What happened?" demands a doctor...

"Dunno, reckon she might of choked," comes the reply.