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sickfuck's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 0 Total Joke Score: 20,977
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 8 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 41 Live Jokes: 36
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 5 Duplicate Jokes: 4


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The best of sickfuck's 36 jokes (View All)
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out... he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy..."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
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Joke by sickfuck in Illness and mortality - Dwarf - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 5372.4

What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country?

Sexy kids.
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Joke by sickfuck in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 4096.6

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.
The man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
His wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
The man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
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Joke by sickfuck in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 2488

This prisoner escapes after 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman [...]

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Joke by sickfuck in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 952.2

A man was walking along the beach one day, when he happened to pass by a very lovely young woman that didn't have any arms or legs, gently sobbing to herself...

"Why the tears?" he asked.
She says, "I'm eighteen years old and I've never been kissed."
The man pauses for a moment, then smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the head.
She laughs a little and puckers up so he gives her a big kiss on the lips.
They pause for an unsure moment [...]

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Joke by sickfuck in Illness and mortality - Disability - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 914.2

Fifteen skinheads chased a Pakistani into a shop and proceed to kick seven flavours of shit out of him. Eventually, the police arrived and arrested everyone.

One of the coppers walked over to the shop assistant and asked if he saw it all happen.

When the clerk replied, "Yes," the cop asked why he didn't help out.

"I thought fifteen was enough," came the reply.
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Joke by sickfuck in Racism - Pakistani - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 906.4

A girl is watching her father shower.

She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?"

He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!"
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Joke by sickfuck in Crime - Incest - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 814.2

A woman has been in a coma for 3 months, showing no signs of recovery.

One day, whilst giving her a bed bath, the nurse notices that there is a flicker on the monitor when they are cleaning her cunt.

The doctors send for her husband and tactfully explain the situation suggesting that he tries oral sex to see if it gets a bigger response. So the medical staff draw the curtains to give him some privacy and await developments.

After about five minutes all t [...]

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Joke by sickfuck in Illness and mortality - Coma - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 731

This guy and girl are going out.
The girl says to the guy "I don't think this is working out."
The guy asks "Why?" She says "Well, you're a paedophile."
He replies "That's a mighty big word for a six year old!"
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Joke by sickfuck in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 493.6

The morning after Christmas, two brothers are in front of the tree.

"So what did you get?" asks the first.

"I got a PSP, a bike, four model cars, ten action figures, the new Playstation 3, ten games for it, and loads of cool t-shirts and clothes. You?"

"I got a pair of socks and a Spiderman toy."

"Is that it?"

"Well yeah, but I don't have leukaemia."
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Joke by sickfuck in Illness and mortality - Hospital - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 418.6

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