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smiddy's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 2 Total Joke Score: 4,812
Country: United kingdom GB Total Time Active: 27 hours, 18 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 385 Live Jokes: 74
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 311 Duplicate Jokes: 20


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The best of smiddy's 74 jokes (View All)
Today is the 7th anniversary of the terrible "terrorist" attack on the world trade centre, I think we should pay tribute to those who died by bringing everyone together....

by having a Jenga tournament 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in In The News - 9/11 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 868

I wonder why they don't do golf at the Paralymics.

I'm sure they would all have an excellent handicap. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in Illness and mortality - Disability - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 566

What would happen to Pinocchio's nose if he said, "My nose will now grow"? I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy which requires categorising - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 421.2

I saw a billboard today with a picture of a drunk woman out with friends having a laugh, wearing the skimpiest clothes you have ever seen. And underneath it says "This is not an invitation to rape me".

I beg to differ. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in Crime - Rape - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 361.6

If a woman drank Stella Artois would she start self-harming? I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in Sex and shit - Stella Artois - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 325.2

I'm as bored as a midget in a theme park. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in Illness and mortality - Dwarf - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 303.2

I think the Bible is totally unrealistic.
I mean, a Jew giving away free fish and bread? 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in Religion - Jesus - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 276.4

This would be the coolest way to kill yourself:
First get a cheese wire and make it into a noose.
Tie it round your neck.
Now, before you jump, superglue your hands to your head, and wait till the glue sets.
Then jump.
When the police come in they'll think you've torn your own fucking head off. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in Illness and mortality - Suicide - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 223.4

My dick's like a paddling pool.

It gets deflated once the kids leave. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 156.2

I can't have children any more.

The police caught me. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by smiddy which requires categorising - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 137

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